The Holidays can be lonely...

[soulsurfer]

Just a friendly reminder to my fellow GAB'ers.

The holidays are a time spent with family and friends. Wine. Song. Gifts. Late-night talks with your love by a fire. A time to reminisce. A time to be thankful. A time to savor the victories of the past year. A time to look forward to the adventures of the year to come.

But it isn't so for everyone. The very nature of the holidays reminds many of the pain they've had to experience in years gone by. A lost job. A lost home. Crushed dreams. They've lost loved ones.

Just a friendly reminder that the holidays aren't 'all that' for everyone. In your quiet moments...in the stillness of the evening as you think about the events of your day, remember those that are suffering in silence. Love runs deep and when love is lost...the wound is just as deep.
While time can bring healing, the scars remain....the memories remain.

But you can lend an ear, maybe a shoulder. A hug goes a long way. A kind and thoughtful word of encouragement doesn't cost you a dime but is priceless to the one that hears it. If you're the praying type, offer that as well. Not to fix them, but to let them know they aren't alone.
Empathy. The greatest gift.

[Reverse Entropy]

We took up the practice of actively inviting people to come to dinners during the holidays. Not just the big feasts, either. Come have regular suppers or lunches with us. A lot of people can't or don't want to travel to their families. We've been happy to host co-workers, soldiers-in-transit, people recently divorced, etc. We like having friends at the table and they're always glad to join us.

But you have to actively check - "Hey, what are you doing over the holiday ? If you're not headed to the family, come on over. We love guests."

Some things about the holidays bug me (like the obsessed shoppers), but it's also a chance to show our best qualities to each other. It bridges religions also - I've been to Seders and Eid al-Fitr, and loved them, and it's nice to host other faiths also.

[Physical Riffiti]

Just when I was convinced we were all a bunch of immature, gear-obsessed musicians, this topic comes along to restore my faith in humanity...

Seriously, though, some very good thoughts and suggestions. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head!

[soulsurfer]

My wife and I have done the same thing for ~15yrs now. We love guests as well, and invite them over thru'out the year.
We began to realize that there are more ppl out there alone thru the holidays than we'd thought.

having afternoon tea with the 80+ year old widow up the street is fun too. she has two pugs that are absolutely adorable! She just moved back east closer to family...I miss that 'ol girl.

We've made a lot of friends over the years just by opening our doors during the holidays.

[TurboPablo]

I'm never myself this time of year. Honestly, I've been feeling it settle in for the last week or so. If I could go to sleep and wake up at the end of January, I would. I'm aware of it. I try to counter it. But it always comes on. As I get older, I think more and more of moving south. These New England Winters just get harder every year. On my body, mind and heart. Plowing through them alone only magnifies it. The Holidays most certainly add to it too. I don't hate Christmas at all. But I never ever feel truly "Present" during the festivities. Sometimes I think it's best if I just grab my Strat and go work 16 hours straight in the Water Plant on Christmas Day.

I hope giving Dad his J45 all repaired and ready to play helps. And maybe that is a big part of why I am doing it. To try and alleviate even a small bit of the darkness I feel this time of year.

For the record Bros, I am in no way suicidal. This is just my annual Rag-Time. I'll start feeling the hope again sometime in February when the days get longer.

But I really do think about places like New Orleans and Austin a lot.

[soulsurfer]

I'm never myself this time of year. Honestly, I've been feeling it settle in for the last week or so. If I could go to sleep and wake up at the end of January, I would. I'm aware of it. I try to counter it. But it always comes on. As I get older, I think more and more of moving south. These New England Winters just get harder every year. On my body, mind and heart. Plowing through them alone only magnifies it. The Holidays most certainly add to it too. I don't hate Christmas at all. But I never ever feel truly "Present" during the festivities. Sometimes I think it's best if I just grab my Strat and go work 16 hours straight in the Water Plant on Christmas Day.

I hope giving Dad his J45 all repaired and ready to play helps. And maybe that is a big part of why I am doing it. To try and alleviate even a small bit of the darkness I feel this time of year.

For the record Bros, I am in no way suicidal. This is just my annual Rag-Time. I'll start feeling the hope again sometime in February when the days get longer.

But I really do think about places like New Orleans and Austin a lot.

Its tough for many this time of year. Some friends and I go down to a local park (known as a hangout for the homeless) and have a big BBQ on Christmas Day. Another friend of mine volunteers for the Salvation Army at a local 'soup kitchen' on Christmas Day. We do it on Thanksgiving too.
Even if its just for a few hours on one day...it gets me out of my own 'humdrums' for weeks afterward.

I think I get more out of it than the local homeless.

BTW, there isn't a rule that says we have to be happy. I just like it better than the funk that usually creeps in this time of year.

[indienoise]

I'm never myself this time of year. Honestly, I've been feeling it settle in for the last week or so. If I could go to sleep and wake up at the end of January, I would. I'm aware of it. I try to counter it. But it always comes on. As I get older, I think more and more of moving south. These New England Winters just get harder every year. On my body, mind and heart. Plowing through them alone only magnifies it. The Holidays most certainly add to it too. I don't hate Christmas at all. But I never ever feel truly "Present" during the festivities. Sometimes I think it's best if I just grab my Strat and go work 16 hours straight in the Water Plant on Christmas Day.

I hope giving Dad his J45 all repaired and ready to play helps. And maybe that is a big part of why I am doing it. To try and alleviate even a small bit of the darkness I feel this time of year.

For the record Bros, I am in no way suicidal. This is just my annual Rag-Time. I'll start feeling the hope again sometime in February when the days get longer.

But I really do think about places like New Orleans and Austin a lot.

I feel you on that. I get the same way, even though I'm blessed with family and friends during the holidays. And our winters aren't even that bad.

You can't escape the gloomy skies and short days no matter where you go though, bro. Moving away from family and friends won't help. Dark by 5:30 every day. It sucks. The weather feels better for a couple years, but the third winter here I was back to wearing long sleeves and jackets again.

[Telephant]

I'm never myself this time of year. Honestly, I've been feeling it settle in for the last week or so. If I could go to sleep and wake up at the end of January, I would. I'm aware of it. I try to counter it. But it always comes on. As I get older, I think more and more of moving south. These New England Winters just get harder every year. On my body, mind and heart. Plowing through them alone only magnifies it. The Holidays most certainly add to it too. I don't hate Christmas at all. But I never ever feel truly "Present" during the festivities. Sometimes I think it's best if I just grab my Strat and go work 16 hours straight in the Water Plant on Christmas Day.

I hope giving Dad his J45 all repaired and ready to play helps. And maybe that is a big part of why I am doing it. To try and alleviate even a small bit of the darkness I feel this time of year.

For the record Bros, I am in no way suicidal. This is just my annual Rag-Time. I'll start feeling the hope again sometime in February when the days get longer.

But I really do think about places like New Orleans and Austin a lot.

Kinda like seasonal depression or something? Either way that sucks brother. If you make it down here I'll show you a good time.

This is the time of year my older brother always fries a turkey. On Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its the one thing I look forward to this time of year and now that we're all older, its one of the few times a year all three of us (I have an older and younger brother) are at the same place at the same time and actually hang out together. Plus, since the fryer is going we just start tossing random shit in to see how it tastes. You'd be surprised just how boss fried sausage is!

[Lloyd Blankfein]

My parents are like this. My oldest brother lives 3 hours from them and continues to always have christmas and thanksgiving at his in laws because he's fucking whipped. Fattest pussy on the planet and I remind him daily.

I live 1,800 miles away in CA (they're in TX) and it curdles my blood to hear my moms tone of voice when I ask if they're going up there to see their only grand kids. "No, we weren't really invited"



Im about to fly out and beat my brothers ass in his front lawn. Then his in laws right after. My middle brother agrees. Can't believe how controlled he is- to th point of turning his back on my parents. He was the golden child, too. Got everything

Me? I don't give a shit, but knowing my mom and dad are sitting alone on the holidays..... Yeah.

I invited them out but it's too expensive to fly.

[Telephant]

Thats fucked. I'm actually getting fucked out of Thanksgiving this year because I finally agreed to share it with my girlfriend's family. But I'm not happy about it.

We all live in the same city though.

[TurboPablo]

Its tough for many this time of year. Some friends and I go down to a local park (known as a hangout for the homeless) and have a big BBQ on Christmas Day. Another friend of mine volunteers for the Salvation Army at a local 'soup kitchen' on Christmas Day. We do it on Thanksgiving too.
Even if its just for a few hours on one day...it gets me out of my own 'humdrums' for weeks afterward.

I think I get more out of it than the local homeless.

BTW, there isn't a rule that says we have to be happy. I just like it better than the funk that usually creeps in this time of year.

Volunteering is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I need to get off of my ass and just do it. I know the perspective will serve me well.

I feel you on that. I get the same way, even though I'm blessed with family and friends during the holidays. And our winters aren't even that bad.

You can't escape the gloomy skies and short days no matter where you go though, bro. Moving away from family and friends won't help. Dark by 5:30 every day. It sucks. The weather feels better for a couple years, but the third winter here I was back to wearing long sleeves and jackets again.

Thanks

I'm not trying to escape and I know it doesn't matter where you go, since, there you are. I am also surrounded by family all year. It's just a pall that comes over. Like a haze. Work, working out and playing guitar only do so much to offset it.

Kinda like seasonal depression or something? Either way that sucks brother. If you make it down here I'll show you a good time.

This is the time of year my older brother always fries a turkey. On Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its the one thing I look forward to this time of year and now that we're all older, its one of the few times a year all three of us (I have an older and younger brother) are at the same place at the same time and actually hang out together. Plus, since the fryer is going we just start tossing random shit in to see how it tastes. You'd be surprised just how boss fried sausage is!

Pretty much a seasonal thing, yeah. Town bustles and hustles most of the year. Then it comes to a screeching halt. So there is a letdown. Along with the sun setting at 4:30PM and rising at 7AM. That's a ton of darkness without much nightlife or noise to fill it. It's ok throuhg the holidays. Then after New Years, it's just three dead months. Until it starts warming up again.

This is all a large part of the reason I quit drinking back in July. Last winter was just too dark and miserable. The recurring thought of a repeat this year scares the shit out of me.

Austin, Nashville and New Orleans are tops on my travel list. Pretty much in that order.


Thanks guys.

[TurboPablo]

My parents are like this. My oldest brother lives 3 hours from them and continues to always have christmas and thanksgiving at his in laws because he's fucking whipped. Fattest pussy on the planet and I remind him daily.

I live 1,800 miles away in CA (they're in TX) and it curdles my blood to hear my moms tone of voice when I ask if they're going up there to see their only grand kids. "No, we weren't really invited"



Im about to fly out and beat my brothers ass in his front lawn. Then his in laws right after. My middle brother agrees. Can't believe how controlled he is- to th point of turning his back on my parents. He was the golden child, too. Got everything

Me? I don't give a shit, but knowing my mom and dad are sitting alone on the holidays..... Yeah.

I invited them out but it's too expensive to fly.

Family will always fuck you first and the worst.

[izzy]

I'm never myself this time of year.

Brother I hear you and you articulated it very well. It hits me every year, despite my awareness and attempts to dodge it. Last year it was doubly worse, Robert's passing hit me hard, it was a good six months before I emerged from the joyless place. Hoping this year is better for all of us, and on a different note, hope peace has found Robert.

[TurboPablo]

I'm never myself this time of year.

Brother I hear you and you articulated it very well. It hits me every year, despite my awareness and attempts to dodge it. Last year it was doubly worse, Robert's passing hit me hard, it was a good six months before I emerged from the joyless ace. Hoping this year is better for all of us, and on a different note, hope peace has found Robert.

Thanks, Izz. I know from the old board that you and I share in "The Darkness".

Wishing and hoping for nothing but the best for you, this year and many more.

[Reverse Entropy]

It's not just the cold gray weather, that low angle sun has an effect on peoples' mood. It looks like sunset and makes people restless (like you didn't get everything done today). Add that in with a little sensible observation of how shallow some people are and you get a real mental blow during the holiday period.

Changing things up helps, at least it does for me. To be honest we re-vamped the holidays after my father passed away. We changed most of our traditions, and it helped. Having guests in was part of that, and it accidentally brought the benefits of seeing and sharing with others in the best possible way.

This year we're going to the beach where my sister and her husband live. Far from the crowds, far from my cynical opinion of holiday consumer and corporate avarice. Just food, family and a good dog to play with.

Go to Austin, New Orleans, San Diego, Sydney, Buenos Aires, wherever. Break up that routine, you'll be glad you did; and you don't owe an explanation to anyone about it, either.

[soundgardener75]

Well, I'm on my lowest point in my life working back up. All I can do is persevere and move up from here, and just think of this as only a bump in the road.

On the plus side, family is all good on both sides, and no one got affected with the recent disaster in the Philippines.

[Dave]

Mojo to you bros feeling the seasonal blues.



We have two thanksgivings (her parents then my p's) and same with Christmas. More importantly, I have an awesome wife and 2 blonde haired, blue eyed healthy sons. Kids are going to have a kick ass Christmas this year, my wife and I got a head start on shopping.