VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

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mrelusive
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VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by mrelusive »

There was a big manager get-together at buffalo wild wings recently in honor of our District Manager becoming a Regional Manager in Ohio. While i was there, one of the other managers (who knows i'm married) was fairly obviously hitting on me and trying to get me to come be her assistant manager. I was trying to be respectful at first... but here's how the conversation went:

Her: You're a GREAT assistant manager! You should totally come be my new assistant. It'd be SO much fun to work with you!!!
Me: But your store is slow as hell, we'd never see each other.
Her: We'd see each other on the weekends! and maybe outside work, too...
Me: I own a house in Grand Haven, that'd be one hell of a commute every day.
Her: You could live in my back room at the store!
Me: Might hafta pass on that....
Her: Come on, i won't charge you rent! I'll even help you move!

[At this point, i just decided to go for it and say the first vulgar thing that popped into my head to end the conversation.]

Me: [VULGARLY] Ya know, i've seen your back room... and it's pretty tiny. I'm just worried that i have too much junk to fit in there comfortably at all. I mean, i could try to shove it in, but i feel like it'd get awkward.
Her: [unblinking blank stare]
Me: [victorious smirk]

At that point someone else came up and inadvertently saved me. I learned later that i didn't offend her, i just turned her on more. She's actually called a couple times since then for "technical help." SHE'S NOT EVEN IN OUR DISTRICT! Why couldn't i have been this smooth when i was single? Ah well... ha!
Last edited by mrelusive on Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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JerEvil
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by JerEvil »

Fucking LOL!
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sleewell
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by sleewell »

well played
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Diddlybo
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by Diddlybo »

Just be direct. If she asks again, just say,"I can't come work for you, my enormous cock is too big to fit in your asshole."

If she still insists, its time for the buttsecks! :thu:
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mrelusive
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by mrelusive »

Diddlybo wrote:Just be direct. If she asks again, just say,"I can't come work for you, my enormous cock is too big to fit in your asshole."

If she still insists, its time for the buttsecks! :thu:


i think at this point, i've earned it. Like legally. Like if i gave her "teh surprise buttsecks" the jury would rule in my favor.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Elusive... He has the LAW on his side."

i smell a badass SVU episode... and there's a "munch" joke in there somewhere.
"You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died" -Benjamin801

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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by ovid9 »

:lol:

That is awesome. Well played man, well played.
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Devin
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by Devin »

Is she hawt?
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mrelusive
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by mrelusive »

Devin wrote:Is she hawt?


Yes. And she's like 5 foot tall and "petite" ...
"You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died" -Benjamin801

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mrelusive
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by mrelusive »

mrelusive wrote:
Devin wrote:Is she hawt?


Yes. And she's like 5 foot tall and "petite" ...



but dat ass, tho.....

[datass.jpg]
"You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died" -Benjamin801

Droppin similes like i got holes in my pants pockets.
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'63-Strat
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by '63-Strat »

Better hope the wife doesn't stalk you on here. I've had exes that did that lol.
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mrelusive
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Re: VICTORY!!! Damn, i'm smooth.

Post by mrelusive »

'63-Strat wrote:Better hope the wife doesn't stalk you on here. I've had exes that did that lol.


Ha, it's all good. She's heard the story.
"You forget, this is HCAF, where everyone thinks like Stephen Hawking, fights like Manny Pacquiao, pulls trim like Justin Timberlake, and emotes like The Terminator...as long as it's someone else's dog who died" -Benjamin801

Droppin similes like i got holes in my pants pockets.
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