A recent loss really made me think about the future.........

[NaturalBornBoy]

And how my little boy would be provided for if anything happens to my wife and I.

A good friend of mine recently passed and it was a real shock to my system. He died of a heart attack. He was 34. Same age as me.

The kicker was that 3 days before his passing, we had a pretty nice chat on FB. He was complaining that he was busy as fuck at work and how his legs were giving him problems. Then I get a message early one morning from an ex-colleague saying that he passed on.

So this got me thinking. I want to ensure that my son, Ethan, is looked after if the wife and I kick the bucket suddenly.

Thing is, the both of us don't trust any of our family members to take care of him as well or even better than we would've. We agreed that it would be my best friend and his wife, who already have 2 kids of their own. We haven't spoken to them yet. They may very well tell us no and I can't blame them for that. I hope they say yes though cos' they're our only option.

Have any of you been put in the position that my best friend will soon be put in? Is this asking too much of someone who isn't technically family?

[ovid9]

Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend! 34 is far too young an age to die!

When I was young my parents wrote their will in such a way that if both of them suddenly died, their best friends (who had 3 kids of their own my bro and I were really close with) would raise us. I'm assuming there were details of helping provide for our care and whatnot.

It was obviously something my parents and them talked about at length. Of course, my parents realized when I was in my early 20s they hadn't changed that will in about 10 years or so and man, that would've been awkward.

Thankfully both my parents are alive and well and doing fine, but what you are thinking about is not unheard of.

[NaturalBornBoy]

Sometimes I wish that the wife and I had more dependable family members but sadly, we don't.

My sis will make sure Ethan gets a proper education but she's BAD with money. My sis-in-law is more trustworthy with money but she really dropped the ball with her own daughter's education so I can only assume that she'll do the same for Ethan and we can't have that.

We're going to see a lawyer soon to find out if our plans are even legal over here. I mean, if the both of us die, our house will be willed to Ethan but seeing that he's a minor, we would like the house to be in the trust of my best friend so he can rent it out and use the money for Ethan's upbringing.

[Marc G]

Sorry about your friend.... the loss of a friend especially so young always sucks. I had a rough time when I was 18 and a good friend of mine died of Cancer. When my Dad passed away a couple of years ago it made me realize the importance of medical insurance, he had but it was pretty limited. He went from having heart surgery which he had to pay for the majority of to finding out he had Cancer which he wasn't covered for. It put a massive train on our family financially, when he passed easily 60% of his life insurance went to paying off his medical bills, which didn't really leave much for my mom so while she did her real estate job as a way of getting some extra cash and having something to do during the day she's MUCH more reliant on her job now. My Brother and I try to run as much of her expenses through our company as possible but we can't do everything with out tax and legal implications since she isn't an employee.. so yeah... I've learnt my lesson and my wife and I have a pretty extensive medical insurance package and I'm looking in to life assurance for the both of us now..

[NaturalBornBoy]

Yeah the wife and I are looking into life insurance too. We're pretty well covered for the medical stuff so that's a relief.

And another thing I need to do is renounce my faith. I was born a Muslim but never practiced. My wife is a Catholic and we're raising Ethan to be a free thinker.

Now get this, if I die a Muslim, I can't will my house to Ethan cos' he's not a Muslim. All he can get, under the Sharia Law, is 1/3 of all my assets and the other 2/3 goes to the Muslim governing body.

Crock of SHIT!!!!!!

[Marc G]

Now get this, if I die a Muslim, I can't will my house to Ethan cos' he's not a Muslim. All he can get, under the Sharia Law, is 1/3 of all my assets and the other 2/3 goes to the Muslim governing body.

Crock of SHIT!!!!!!

how does that work legally?? if you leave a will saying how you want your assets distributed how can that be superseded?

[NaturalBornBoy]

Now get this, if I die a Muslim, I can't will my house to Ethan cos' he's not a Muslim. All he can get, under the Sharia Law, is 1/3 of all my assets and the other 2/3 goes to the Muslim governing body.

Crock of SHIT!!!!!!

how does that work legally?? if you leave a will saying how you want your assets distributed how can that be superseded?

Even though Singapore is not a Sharia state, the Muslim governing body here sees it fit to impose certain aspects of it, especially those pertaining to assets. And the government here just sits idly by. According to Sharia law, Muslims aren't allowed to leave a will.

My mom-in-law went through this shit when her mom passed. Her mom was a converted Muslim and in her will, she left my mom-in-law her house.

The Muslim governing body suddenly came in to the picture and started imposing some Sharia bullshit about how my mom-in-law cannot inherit the house cos' she isn't Muslim.

My mom-in-law had to go through close to 2 years of a very financially draining legal battle just to get what was rightfully hers.

[Marc G]

wow... that's insane...

[NaturalBornBoy]

wow... that's insane...

inorite. Some seriously shady shit going on there.

[ovid9]

Damn. Did not know it was that bad.

Can you convert to "None of the above?"

[TurboPablo]

Wow.

I thought Muslims and Islam were all accepting. Talk about inherent racism.

[sleewell]

sorry to hear about your friend, that is truly sad.


i would take in my best friends kids for sure, good friends are the same as family to me. i know he would do the same for me no questions asked. as long as you have that type of two way relationship i see no issues asking them.

[Marc G]

Wow.

I thought Muslims and Islam were all accepting. Talk about inherent racism.

it's not racist... it's not like they are only taking property from one race, they are taking it from all Muslims and blocking all non-Muslims from getting Muslim's property... there's nothing racist there... discriminatory sure, but not racist.. What it shows is how greed and the desire to exclude outsiders has taken a firm grip of their religion.

[NaturalBornBoy]

Damn. Did not know it was that bad.

Can you convert to "None of the above?"

I'm gonna just be a free thinker. Simple as

[NaturalBornBoy]

Wow.

I thought Muslims and Islam were all accepting. Talk about inherent racism.

it's not racist... it's not like they are only taking property from one race, they are taking it from all Muslims and blocking all non-Muslims from getting Muslim's property... there's nothing racist there... discriminatory sure, but not racist.. What it shows is how greed and the desire to exclude outsiders has taken a firm grip of their religion.

Sharia law is a huge pile of steaming dog poo. There is no way in hell I'm gonna let any religious body tell me how I can and should distribute my assets.

[soundgardener75]

So sorry to hear bro.

I also hope your best friend and his wife would agree.

[Marc G]

Sharia law is a huge pile of steaming dog poo. There is no way in hell I'm gonna let any religious body tell me how I can and should distribute my assets.

I agree... its' your property to do with as you like...

[TurboPablo]

Discrimination against non-Muslims smells no different than discrimination against blacks, jews or whatever. It's based on religion instead of color. In the end, it's no different to me.

Dress it up anyway you like.

[Marc G]

Discrimination against non-Muslims smells no different than discrimination against blacks, jews or whatever. It's based on religion instead of color. In the end, it's no different to me.

Dress it up anyway you like.

agreed... but.. it's not racist..

[NaturalBornBoy]

Discrimination against non-Muslims smells no different than discrimination against blacks, jews or whatever. It's based on religion instead of color. In the end, it's no different to me.

Dress it up anyway you like.

agreed... but.. it's not racist..

Yeah it's more like religious discrimination.

[madryan]

Something similar has happened here for centuries. The local priest/pastor/whatever perches on the deathbed of a wealthy parishioner and eventually the estate gets donated to the church vs. going to the family. Nothing new.

Religion is a crock of shit any way you slice it.