Which NFL team should I root for?

[Ry Manchu]

Since Miami no longer has a professional football team, convince me who to root for this year. First off, I would rather blow my head off with a shotgun than be a Patriots, Jets or Bills fan. I also suggest that as a reasonable course of action for their fans. No offense meant to the two or three cool non-Bills fans in Buffalo who are probably pretty lonely trying to translate into English what their drunk friends slur. Plus, they live in Buffalo...poor souls. I hate Cam Newton, so Carolina is out. I have too much self-respect to be a Browns or Raiders fan, though the Browns are getting better. I could never be a Ravens fan, because Ray Lewis is a murderer and everyone was fine with that. I could never be a Redskins fan as long as that piece of shit, Snyder owns them. Same goes for Jerry Jones and the Cowboys.

I grew up east of Houston, so the Texans and the Titans are options. I really respect the way that the Packers organization chooses players and coaches and gives them time and support to develop. Plus I like the whole, fan-owned organizational structure. However, I hate their colors. I know it's petty, but bleh. However, team colors are not a deal breaker, but they are weighted.

So, convince me why I should or shouldn't be a fan of your team. If I pick your team, I'll even go to a game with you and buy you beers next season. Unless you think I'm a dick, in which case you'll tell me to be a Raiders or Jets fan because I'll fit in.

[TurboPablo]

New England Patriots.

[Ry Manchu]

New England Patriots.

[clipless bumper]

Well, I grew up in Wisconsin, and live in Philly - so take your pick.

[Ry Manchu]

Well, I grew up in Wisconsin, and live in Philly - so take your pick.

I heard Eagles fans are dickheads. True?

[clipless bumper]

Only the ones from Philly - you'd be fine.

[Ry Manchu]

They wouldn't kill me for wearing an Eagles jersey in South Florida. But I also don't want to seem like a fair weather johnny-come-lately fan.

[Noah]

What's wrong with miami?

[Ry Manchu]

What's wrong with miami?

Adam Gase is an asshole with a fragile ego; he traded Ajayi (for a 4th round pick) and Landry (also 4th) because they were leaders who wanted to win and get their teammates there.

Stephen Ross is an asshole; he told players he'd suspend them for kneeling.

I'm tired of the team trading players like Vontae Davis, Brandon Marshall, Reggie Bush, Chad Johnson, Karlos Dansby, Jason Taylor, Ted Ginn, Josh McCown and Wes Welker. All who go on to success on other teams (granted Bush only had 1 good year left in the tank and Ochocinco went nutsy). And then there was the time we passed on Drew Brees for Daunte Culpepper.

I thought things would change when they got rid of Jeff Ireland and brought in Hickey and Tannenbaum who brought in Gase. But I believe the cold hard reality is that the Dolphins haven't had a culture of winners since Baumhower, Doug Betters, Nat Moore, Dwight Stephenson, Ed Newman, Bob Kuechenberg and Bill Arnsparger all retired between 83 and 87 and then Joe Robbie died.

Teams are afraid to go into K.C., Green Bay and Seattle. Outside of it gettting really hot here, what team has been afraid to play Miami at home since Marino tore his Achilles in 1993? With the loss of the Orange Bowl and the advent of Gatorade, Portacool, Big Fogg, Hydromist, cooling benches and cooling pads the Fins have lost their home-field advantage. The stadium (which changes names every 10 months) sucks for getting the noise on the field. And unfortunately we have a lot of transplants from other cities and sports tourists who come for the weekend and a game is part of that. Fins fans are frequently outnumbered by the visiting team's fans. And a good percentage of Fins fans are a bunch of fair weather douchebags who sell their tickets to opposing fans. Higher ticket prices and the move to the new stadium changed the demographic of the fans from hard working men to a lot of bag-e-le-douches.

Though the food is good at the stadium.

[Pepi]

Hell I don't know .... JUST DO IT

[Noah]

you should quit watching foolsball. You sound way too invested in something that really doesn't matter.

[Ry Manchu]

I love football. So far, the new rules this season suck, but so did the old rules allowing spearing guys with helmets. I'm also not a big fan of the post-Brady injury rules where you can't look at a QB wrong without a flag.

I don't watch baseball, golf, bowling or soccer. I enjoy the occasional basketball game, but there are way too many games in a season. I like to play baseball and soccer and go bowling. I don't like to play golf.

[HottKarl]

Honestly, and saying this makes my skin crawl because I'm a gigantic Steeler fan.....but keep an eye on the Browns. They may get the award for most improved team this season. I'm not saying they're going to win a lot (particularly in that crazy division) but they are going to win some games this year.

[mortatone]

I like watching young quarterbacks do well so I’m pulling for Cowboys Bears and Texans. Also would like to see Garrapallo do well. He’s not that young anymore but he’s finally getting a shot at starting a whole season

[Ry Manchu]

Of the suggestions so far, I like the Texans and the Packers.

[IndyWS6]

First off, kudos on effectively articulating your predicament and outlining the requirements. I wish more people could do that. Especially when it's something that is actually important

Colts. Irsay is a dick, but they finally made some front office choices that should pay off sooner, rather than later. We don't have any murderers on the roster (that I know of) and rarely have players involved in off-field shenanigans (it happens, but less often than the league norm). Plus, when healthy, Luck is a beast. And he looks like Abraham Lincoln, so there's that. We're in the middle of a cornfield - a few more fans couldn't hurt...

[Kardula]

I don't really follow football, wasn't aware the dolphins aren't around anymore. I root for both the Patriots and the Raiders, you should too.

[clipless bumper]

After the look of those first two drives - maybe you should root for da Bears........

[RyanDistortion]

I don't really follow football, wasn't aware the dolphins aren't around anymore. I root for both the Patriots and the Raiders, you should too.

Phins are around but are dead to the OP.

[Ry Manchu]

These are the teams I'm considering:

Eagles
Steelers
Broncos
Lions
Bengals
Vikings
Chiefs
Packers

It's tough. But, I don't have to decide this week.

[EndTime]

After the look of those first two drives - maybe you should root for da Bears........

Ahahahaha...

Being here in Chicago and not really a football fan, I always find it funny/annoying when the Bears get so much hype for the littlest of things. Like the beginning of last night's game. This town is annoyingly so pro Bears, I can't help but kinda root against them.

Anyway, a friend knows my distaste of the Bears and starting texting me about halfway thru talking about this is the new Bears. I said verbatim, "if it isn't the new Bears, they will lose this game. And I predict they'll still lose" . I actually was just being a dick.. but yeah.. that was funny

[sleewell]

if you are into self deprecation its great being a lions fan.

[Ry Manchu]

I have a long history of being self deprecating. I also like the Lions jerseys. Also, I was a big megatron fan due to ffb.

I'm not sure I could wear the Steelers black and yellow. All I can think is bumble bee. Fun fact: one of the rappers in the the black & yellow video, Dquay Means, is in prison for stabbing a Steeler player in a robbery.

I respect the Giants organization, but there is something about Eli that gets to me.

[Thurston]

Out of that list, I'd root for the packers. Aaron Rogers is the man as witnessed last night.

But you should stop being a traitor and stick it out with your home team.

[Ry Manchu]

Out of that list, I'd root for the packers. Aaron Rogers is the man as witnessed last night.

But you should stop being a traitor and stick it out with your home team.

Aaron Rogers is my favorite QB, hands down.

I moved to Miami when I was 10. I only became a Fins fan due to location and Dan Marino. Marino hasn't played in 19 years. This team has no loyalty to its fans, why should I have loyalty to it?