And now, for some actual foilhattery:

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benjamin801
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And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by benjamin801 »

This forum has plenty of political discussion, but very little actual insanity. Allow me to help:

Found tied to the trunk of a cottonwood tree (they're quite poplar) in Liberty Park, Salt Lake City, March 29: an advertisement soliciting the services of a typist, to transcribe the author's 500 page handwritten book :freak: for him or her.

The lower section explains that the book contains "many proofs" of how vitamin and mineral supplements and "fortified" foods are killing "our parents, our children, and our selves." So far, maybe a bit fringe-y, but nothing too outlandish. Then comes the part about humans living forever. It was about halfway down this page that my wife said, "You know, I don't think this guy is really looking for a typist at all..."

I can only assume that, if you were to leave your contact information on the attached pad of paper :eek: as requested, the author would inform you that "they" are out to get him or her, in order to suppress these proofs. This would explain why, instead of taking out a Craigslist ad like your average paranoid schizophrenic, he or she saw fit to tie a manifesto to a tree trunk.

I suppressed the urge to leave my e-mail address on the pad, after deciding that I like my kidneys right where they are. Wifey, ever helpful, pulled a marker out of her purse and made a few spelling fixes, though.

Image
"If there was only a way that I couldn't even any less than I already can't then I'd gladly not, but I think I've entered some quantum paradox, dark matter levels of can't evening where the total absolute value of not evenness exceeds all ability to explain the can'ting." - MR RUBATO
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Dickarms
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by Dickarms »

weird, but not nearly weird enough that i would have taken the time to do anything but smirk. :idk: cooks like this walk around everyday, and i have to applaud this one's neat-ass handwriting. you and your wife should look into "sex", ben ;) :cop:
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benjamin801
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by benjamin801 »

Y0UNGBL00D wrote:you and your wife should look into "sex", ben ;) :cop:


:lol:
"If there was only a way that I couldn't even any less than I already can't then I'd gladly not, but I think I've entered some quantum paradox, dark matter levels of can't evening where the total absolute value of not evenness exceeds all ability to explain the can'ting." - MR RUBATO
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Dickarms
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by Dickarms »

srs though, this was just strapped to a tree? what a kook motherfucker.
Beer==>SG==>Pedals==>Orange TV50
Telephant wrote:C'mon down to Marshall town sweet tits. We're all having a helluva time. :cop:

ovid9 wrote:But, having three cats, I don't want to hurt their ears.

sleewell wrote:goop forever, thug life till I die bitch.

Dave Lister wrote:Ya'll motherfuckers don't need any or more better gear, ya'll need better ideas.

Good Deals: TU BE, Steveijobzz, MikeO, Pamuk Party, Heath
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benjamin801
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by benjamin801 »

Dude. "It also shows how to access rare (dormant) chemicals lying in wait in the endocrine which can assist the brain to perform many wonderful and unusual activities."

Such as? Flying? Farting on pitch? Either way, count me in. :lol:
"If there was only a way that I couldn't even any less than I already can't then I'd gladly not, but I think I've entered some quantum paradox, dark matter levels of can't evening where the total absolute value of not evenness exceeds all ability to explain the can'ting." - MR RUBATO
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Dickarms
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by Dickarms »

my farts are always a hair shy of 840hz
Beer==>SG==>Pedals==>Orange TV50
Telephant wrote:C'mon down to Marshall town sweet tits. We're all having a helluva time. :cop:

ovid9 wrote:But, having three cats, I don't want to hurt their ears.

sleewell wrote:goop forever, thug life till I die bitch.

Dave Lister wrote:Ya'll motherfuckers don't need any or more better gear, ya'll need better ideas.

Good Deals: TU BE, Steveijobzz, MikeO, Pamuk Party, Heath
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benjamin801
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by benjamin801 »

Y0UNGBL00D wrote:my farts are always a hair shy of 840hz


If you plucked another hair, would they be 800hz?
"If there was only a way that I couldn't even any less than I already can't then I'd gladly not, but I think I've entered some quantum paradox, dark matter levels of can't evening where the total absolute value of not evenness exceeds all ability to explain the can'ting." - MR RUBATO
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Reverse Entropy
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by Reverse Entropy »

I think this 'author' is actually a completely non-computerized soul. Notice they asked for a 'typist'.
Unless you have an antique Line-O-Type machine and a printing press to match, you're going to freak
this guy out with the SORCERY of your laptop computer. :shock:

Oh - (haha) I just realized this guy also took POSTING an ad a bit literally. Yeeps.

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frumiousbandersnatch
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by frumiousbandersnatch »

"... the trunk of a cottonwood tree (they're quite poplar) ..."
Well done. If unintentionally.
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benjamin801
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by benjamin801 »

frumiousbandersnatch wrote:"... the trunk of a cottonwood tree (they're quite poplar) ..."
Well done. If unintentionally.


It was intentional. About time someone noticed. :clap: :D
"If there was only a way that I couldn't even any less than I already can't then I'd gladly not, but I think I've entered some quantum paradox, dark matter levels of can't evening where the total absolute value of not evenness exceeds all ability to explain the can'ting." - MR RUBATO
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Re: And now, for some actual foilhattery:

Post by 100 watt »

benjamin801 wrote:
Y0UNGBL00D wrote:my farts are always a hair shy of 840hz


If you plucked another hair, would they be 800hz?



I leave mine stock . Nice & warm sounding. Just dont wanna brown things out too much.
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