Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Guitarist

GuitarBilly · Post by **GuitarBilly** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:32 pm

A buddy of mine forwarded me this link today... I was surprised I actually agree with most of it:

http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/crossfad ... t_rock.php

clipless bumper · Post by **clipless bumper** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:36 pm

hilarious - and quite true!!

Diddlybo · Post by **Diddlybo** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:51 pm

Lol at that Hitler video. "Everybody who thinks Joe Bonamassa plays blues, take your pedals and leave the room."

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:53 pm

i agree with all that.

my favorite line:

Are you that dude that pulls an acoustic guitar out at parties and sings songs? Go fuck yourself.

ovid9 · Post by **ovid9** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:53 pm

lawl!!!!

Pretty darn accurate.

Diddlybo · Post by **Diddlybo** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:00 pm

sleewell wrote:i agree with all that.

my favorite line:

Are you that dude that pulls an acoustic guitar out at parties and sings songs? Go fuck yourself.

Reminded me of this:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1xqI_4btnc[/video]

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:05 pm

hahahahahaaha, for sure!!

Reverse Entropy · Post by **Reverse Entropy** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 7:05 pm

Surprisingly accurate.

...and I claim to be a shitty guitarist, but I would never do any of that shit. :rolleyes:

Krunchmeister · Post by **Krunchmeister** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 7:29 pm

Whew - the cats being raped by harmonica "players" sends chills down my spine . Heard that many times and it was always an idiot that didnt know what a key signature was!

studio289 · Post by **studio289** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:24 pm

I would like to add to the the list:
"Distorting your face while you solo does not automatically make you a soulful player. It just makes you look like a fucktard."

Dave Lister · Post by **Dave Lister** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:27 pm

studio289 wrote:I would like to add to the the list:
"Distorting your face while you solo does not automatically make you a soulful player. It just makes you look like a fucktard."

neilrocks25 · Post by **neilrocks25** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:18 am

I agree with all that and suck on guitar.

And line about critiques being boring players is so true, happens a lot on here.

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 10:39 am

i used to be the party acoustic douche to some extent :facepalm:

it was usually by request, but i was enabling it by having a guitar anywhere around. havent done that in years though.

Elessar [Sly] · Post by **Elessar [Sly]** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:00 pm

Agreed.

And black metal people. All over your face.

linthat22 · Post by **linthat22** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:55 pm

How about instead of pulling out an acoustic at a party that someone at the party has a guitar and knows you play?

I hate that shit, cause who really wants to see me noodle on a guitar cause some buzzing dude thinks it's a good idea?

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 7:21 pm

linthat22 wrote:How about instead of pulling out an acoustic at a party that someone at the party has a guitar and knows you play?

I hate that shit, cause who really wants to see me noodle on a guitar cause some buzzing dude thinks it's a good idea?

Been there, man. Did it go anything like this?

YOU: "No man, I don't really want to..."
HIM (slurring): "C'mon man! Play something! HEY EVERYONE! Get in here! Check this out! Hey man, play that...that thing you played...you know, the...the one...HEY EVERYONE! Hey, turn off the stereo! Listen to benjamin801 play the guitar! He's a bad ass! C'mon, now play!"
YOU: "Dude, I'm left handed. Your [shitty Tanara acoustic with three year old strings on it] guitar is a righty."
HIM: "...is it very different?"
HOT GIRL WHO JUST SAT DOWN: "Can you play any Shinedown?"

:facepalm:

Ostinato Rubato · Post by **Ostinato Rubato** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 8:27 pm

shitty is in the attitude

:lol:

I'm only partially guilty of a couple of those.

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:42 am

benjamin801 wrote:
linthat22 wrote:How about instead of pulling out an acoustic at a party that someone at the party has a guitar and knows you play?

I hate that shit, cause who really wants to see me noodle on a guitar cause some buzzing dude thinks it's a good idea?

Been there, man. Did it go anything like this?

YOU: "No man, I don't really want to..."
HIM (slurring): "C'mon man! Play something! HEY EVERYONE! Get in here! Check this out! Hey man, play that...that thing you played...you know, the...the one...HEY EVERYONE! Hey, turn off the stereo! Listen to benjamin801 play the guitar! He's a bad ass! C'mon, now play!"
YOU: "Dude, I'm left handed. Your [shitty Tanara acoustic with three year old strings on it] guitar is a righty."
HIM: "...is it very different?"
HOT GIRL WHO JUST SAT DOWN: "Can you play any Shinedown?"

lololololol

Pepi · Post by **Pepi** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:09 am

studio289 wrote:I would like to add to the the list:
"Distorting your face while you solo does not automatically make you a soulful player. It just makes you look like a fucktard."

And those wah, wah mouth moves when using your wah-wah pedal :freak:

Telephant · Post by **Telephant** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:43 am

benjamin801 wrote:
linthat22 wrote:How about instead of pulling out an acoustic at a party that someone at the party has a guitar and knows you play?

I hate that shit, cause who really wants to see me noodle on a guitar cause some buzzing dude thinks it's a good idea?

Been there, man. Did it go anything like this?

YOU: "No man, I don't really want to..."
HIM (slurring): "C'mon man! Play something! HEY EVERYONE! Get in here! Check this out! Hey man, play that...that thing you played...you know, the...the one...HEY EVERYONE! Hey, turn off the stereo! Listen to benjamin801 play the guitar! He's a bad ass! C'mon, now play!"
YOU: "Dude, I'm left handed. Your [shitty Tanara acoustic with three year old strings on it] guitar is a righty."
HIM: "...is it very different?"
HOT GIRL WHO JUST SAT DOWN: "Can you play any Shinedown?"

This is when you play it upside down and blow people's mind with your assbackwardsness. :cop:

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:11 am

Telephant wrote:This is when you play it upside down and blow people's mind with your assbackwardsness.

Embarrassingly, I do have a small repertoire of songs I can play easily on an upside-down guitar. Mostly G-C-D strummy stuff. Ball and Chain, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), Every Rose Has Its Thorn*, etc.

:facepalm:

<--- at me

* Every Rose only to be played while someone else sang it. I have some dignity.

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