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Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.
Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.
Gah, I have to sorta agree.
I feel that a lot of parents are not doing their jobs in raising stronger kids. When these parents do put forth effort, it's in beating away the adversities of reality from the kid instead of strengthening the kid to deal with these adversities on his/her own. They're raising soft kids (if at all) and then blaming the system. It's always someone else's fault. And of course when these kids turn 18 or 21, these parents get fed up with all the helicoptering they've been doing and drop them and expose them to the full brunt of the world with no skills. Some parents actually continue on and contact their kid's professor or prospective employer and complain of why their kid didn't get an A or get hired.
Karen + parents = Karents!
Sorry for the rant.
Yup. Most of these single moms are the ones convincing themselves that their own life is hard and they need a break, which is why they slack on their parenting. Complaining about being exhausted, work, everything is hard, etc are all just sad excuses. This leads to reactionary parenting at best where the mom is behind the curve at every step. Then they try to protect the kid from the awful life they inadvertently lead them to, and it results in the situation in the OP. Moms crying to the school that their kid is a target. That's a guaranteed way to put a target on the kid's back.
Well little Dave, I really don't think my wife and I did that bad raising my oldest daughter. She raised 2 boys from a deadbeat dad all by herself without any support. My oldest Grandson is 21 making 6 figures a year working for CSX. My youngest Grandson is in college at IU (FREE RIDE) he graduated as Valedictorian in his class. My Granddaughter is 14 and makes good grades and is a very good girl. Her father is the biggest PITA I've ever known. He lets her do whatever she wants so when my daughter gets her it's HELL for her. Also, your comment ... "Moms crying to the school that their kid is a target. That's a guaranteed way to put a target on the kid's back" This is the first time my daughter ever went to school about the bullying. Wonder what you would do if a text was floating around with someone pointing a life-like gun at your son's head? Makes me think those Glocks you own need to be sold. STFUD
'The world is literally vomiting' ~~Carlos Santana
Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.
Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.
Gah, I have to sorta agree.
I feel that a lot of parents are not doing their jobs in raising stronger kids. When these parents do put forth effort, it's in beating away the adversities of reality from the kid instead of strengthening the kid to deal with these adversities on his/her own. They're raising soft kids (if at all) and then blaming the system. It's always someone else's fault. And of course when these kids turn 18 or 21, these parents get fed up with all the helicoptering they've been doing and drop them and expose them to the full brunt of the world with no skills. Some parents actually continue on and contact their kid's professor or prospective employer and complain of why their kid didn't get an A or get hired.
Karen + parents = Karents!
Sorry for the rant.
Yup. Most of these single moms are the ones convincing themselves that their own life is hard and they need a break, which is why they slack on their parenting. Complaining about being exhausted, work, everything is hard, etc are all just sad excuses. This leads to reactionary parenting at best where the mom is behind the curve at every step. Then they try to protect the kid from the awful life they inadvertently lead them to, and it results in the situation in the OP. Moms crying to the school that their kid is a target. That's a guaranteed way to put a target on the kid's back.
Well little Dave, I really don't think my wife and I did that bad raising my oldest daughter. She raised 2 boys from a deadbeat dad all by herself without any support. My oldest Grandson is 21 making 6 figures a year working for CSX. My youngest Grandson is in college at IU (FREE RIDE) he graduated as Valedictorian in his class. My Granddaughter is 14 and makes good grades and is a very good girl. Her father is the biggest PITA I've ever known. He lets her do whatever she wants so when my daughter gets her it's HELL for her. Also, your comment ... "Moms crying to the school that their kid is a target. That's a guaranteed way to put a target on the kid's back" This is the first time my daughter ever went to school about the bullying. Wonder what you would do if a text was floating around with someone pointing a life-like gun at your son's head? Makes me think those Glocks you own need to be sold. STFUD
- says the old man constantly crying about life sucking on the internet to strangers.
idgaf what the rest of your offspring are doing, and it isn't my kids having dumb texts floating around. Further, I don't own Glocks nor does my statement above warrant any type of gun confiscation. Don't project your failures on to me just because the truth stings. Man up and either accept your situation or fix it. Don't be a bitch on the internet.
I think Dave is right about one thing. Complaining to school about the kid being a target may stop things at school but it makes it worse pretty much everywhere else. Back in my day, that's you would end up with your house TP'd or something. These days it goes into social media and kids are very savvy about keeping bullying your granddaughter while staying under the radar. They might be already doing it and now she won't tell her parents because they went to the school the first time.
The best way to deal with bullies is really to expose them and laugh at their faces. Nearly all bullies are insecure little shits that must be put in their place.
Something like, "ha nice picture!! now take one with that gun shoved up your ass. I mean, as soon as your dad takes his hand out of it! No rush though LOL"
There's a lot of room between physical violence and crying to the principal.
I grew up in NJ/NYC in the 80s where being bullied was just the "normal" specially for a brown kid with an accent like myself and I didn't find a bully I couldn't deal with. Most of them ended up my friends actually.
You don't have to be violent but you HAVE to confront them. They want easy targets so just don't be one and they'll move on to the next one.
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Yeah I dealt with some bully problems too. Most of em became friends, even the few I got into actual fights with. Hell, one dude I got in a fight with, two years later my car wouldn’t start and he gave me a ride home. We patched shit up and were friends since.
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GuitarBilly wrote:Anyone who played an 800 "model" in a Kemper/Fractal/Helix and think they know what a raging 2203 sounds like is pretty much the guitar equivalent of a virgin nerd that thinks watching porn counts as sex experience.
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GuitarBilly wrote:I think Dave is right about one thing. Complaining to school about the kid being a target may stop things at school but it makes it worse pretty much everywhere else. Back in my day, that's you would end up with your house TP'd or something. These days it goes into social media and kids are very savvy about keeping bullying your granddaughter while staying under the radar. They might be already doing it and now she won't tell her parents because they went to the school the first time.
The best way to deal with bullies is really to expose them and laugh at their faces. Nearly all bullies are insecure little shits that must be put in their place.
Something like, "ha nice picture!! now take one with that gun shoved up your ass. I mean, as soon as your dad takes his hand out of it! No rush though LOL"
There's a lot of room between physical violence and crying to the principal.
I grew up in NJ/NYC in the 80s where being bullied was just the "normal" specially for a brown kid with an accent like myself and I didn't find a bully I couldn't deal with. Most of them ended up my friends actually.
You don't have to be violent but you HAVE to confront them. They want easy targets so just don't be one and they'll move on to the next one.
This is the correct response. Self confidence and being able to take a joke go a long way.
GuitarBilly wrote:I think Dave is right about one thing. Complaining to school about the kid being a target may stop things at school but it makes it worse pretty much everywhere else. Back in my day, that's you would end up with your house TP'd or something. These days it goes into social media and kids are very savvy about keeping bullying your granddaughter while staying under the radar. They might be already doing it and now she won't tell her parents because they went to the school the first time.
The best way to deal with bullies is really to expose them and laugh at their faces. Nearly all bullies are insecure little shits that must be put in their place.
Something like, "ha nice picture!! now take one with that gun shoved up your ass. I mean, as soon as your dad takes his hand out of it! No rush though LOL"
There's a lot of room between physical violence and crying to the principal.
I grew up in NJ/NYC in the 80s where being bullied was just the "normal" specially for a brown kid with an accent like myself and I didn't find a bully I couldn't deal with. Most of them ended up my friends actually.
You don't have to be violent but you HAVE to confront them. They want easy targets so just don't be one and they'll move on to the next one.
This is the correct response. Self confidence and being able to take a joke go a long way.
The gun picture ain't no joke. Often if people don't recognize bullying, it's because they're the bullies. Or would've been. You strike me as a bully, at least on forums If you're the same way in real life, too bad for the people around you. Because if you act like you do here, someone has a shitty day because of you from time to time. And I don't get why that should be the goal for anyone.
Some people are already having a shitty day and need hard truths from time to time.
I was bullied hard growing up. I was a scrawny zit faced kid weighing all of 100lbs. I wish someone would have told me the hard truths I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t learn those lessons until much later.
I agree the gun to the head pic was no joke and clearly crossed the line . I think Pepi made it clear the DA , police and the school didn't find that funny either . That kid is learning a lesson too .
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The point is to head off bullying early on by confronting it with confidence and making a joke out of it. Billy responded from the perspective of someone that would have never gotten to that picture in the first place but the girl needs to start somewhere. It doesn’t appear the mom going to the school helped a whole lot and now hiding and not returning to school is being discussed.
This is a discussion that needs to be had with the daughter and granddaughter.
Or we can just say “omg that’s so horrible. No one deserves that and the school will handle it. I’d be teaching the girl to beat some ass tbh.”
Is that answer truly better? Or is it pandering with people pleasing nonsense?
I remember watching a couple of bullies TRY to pick on a nerdy, smaller kid. (Bullies only pick on smaller kids, of course). We were all in the seventh grade. After the very first verbal attack, the little kid immediately yelled back, pretty much at the top of his lungs, "You better leave me alone because my Dad's a lawyer and he'll sue your parents and take your fucking house!!!" The two bullies looked at each other with not only confusion but, with also a bit of fear... they walked away and the incident was over. I don't know if the nerdy kid's father was a lawyer or not but, it was impressive.
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I didn't say the picture is a joke. And I sympathize with Pepi's daughter since I also raised my kid on my own, while the other "parent" decided to go do hard drugs and eventually died. This shit is tough.
All I am saying that she (granddaughter) needs someone to teach her to deal with bullies without crying to authorities or resorting to physical violence. Because this a skill she will need for her entire life. That's probably what she was looking for in the first place when she told her mom, not a full ring circus that got the DA involved and the granddaughter ostracized from her own school. And the bully is probably playing victim now saying she's being persecuted, it's blown way out of proportion etc because that's what bullies do - it's all a cry for attention.
My kid had problem with bullies in school too. I sat down with him and told him to give me the worst bullying lines he could think of and I taught him to respond to every single one of them, sometimes with humor and sometimes by throwing the shame back at the bully. He ended up exchanging a few words with some of them but eventually they left him alone because bullies like soft targets. They like people that cry, get hurt, call their moms or just lose their shit and start throwing punches because the moment you do that, they won. . But if you're not that person, they move on. So don't be that person. Easier said than done? Sure, but it must be done nonetheless.
Guitars: '78 Les Paul Pro / '89 SG Special/ '04 Gibson Les Paul Classic 3 pickup / Jackson Star/ Endres Tele / Fernandes Rhoads/ ''74 Hohner MIJ strat/ 2 Partscasters
Amps: Depends on when you ask. I got tired of constantly updating this section lol
Cabs Marshall 1960A w V30s/ Seismic 2x12 w Redback and V30.
Questions about the forum: please PM here. Can't access the forum? Need a password reset? Please access our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GuitarGearForumOfficial and message me through it.
The point is to head off bullying early on by confronting it with confidence and making a joke out of it. Billy responded from the perspective of someone that would have never gotten to that picture in the first place but the girl needs to start somewhere. It doesn’t appear the mom going to the school helped a whole lot and now hiding and not returning to school is being discussed.
This is a discussion that needs to be had with the daughter and granddaughter.
Or we can just say “omg that’s so horrible. No one deserves that and the school will handle it. I’d be teaching the girl to beat some ass tbh.”
Is that answer truly better? Or is it pandering with people pleasing nonsense?
Good answer, Dave. No it probably wouldn't. It's difficult to give any advice, because the situation is unique and complex. I would probably tell my kids to ignore it. Although violence would be in the back of my mind. What my kids have learned, is that assholes are everywhere, and best ignored if possible. The trouble is always when someone gangs up on one person. Parenting or strong parents doesn't always help. I was bullied because my mom was a teacher on the small school I went to. I got my ass kicked my 7th graders when I was in 2nd grade. Of course, these guys didn't grow up to be as big as they seemed when I was in 2nd, and I remember talking to some of them about the situation on parties. Some of them apologized, possibly because me at 19 was 15-20 inches taller much heavier than them. Things tend to work themselves out for most, but there is the small minority who have to change schools, or worse, end up taking their lives because someone else makes it a living hell. And that's not just the parenting. It's the evil of kids. And that strokes me the wrong way.
GuitarBilly wrote:I didn't say the picture is a joke. And I sympathize with Pepi's daughter since I also raised my kid on my own, while the other "parent" decided to go do hard drugs and eventually died. This shit is tough.
All I am saying that she (granddaughter) needs someone to teach her to deal with bullies without crying to authorities or resorting to physical violence. Because this a skill she will need for her entire life. That's probably what she was looking for in the first place when she told her mom, not a full ring circus that got the DA involved and the granddaughter ostracized from her own school. And the bully is probably playing victim now saying she's being persecuted, it's blown way out of proportion etc because that's what bullies do - it's all a cry for attention.
My kid had problem with bullies in school too. I sat down with him and told him to give me the worst bullying lines he could think of and I taught him to respond to every single one of them, sometimes with humor and sometimes by throwing the shame back at the bully. He ended up exchanging a few words with some of them but eventually they left him alone because bullies like soft targets. They like people that cry, get hurt, call their moms or just lose their shit and start throwing punches because the moment you do that, they won. . But if you're not that person, they move on. So don't be that person. Easier said than done? Sure, but it must be done nonetheless.
Good thoughts and good handling, Billy If it worked, nothing better.
As I said before. This has been going on for over two years with this kid and my granddaughter. Nobody has gone to the school crying about it. When the picture ended up on Facebook was when my daughter and EX-SIL got involved and they should have! Wonder how many school shootings could have been prevented if someone would have reported some of the shit they saw on social media ??
I do NOT agree with the way that my granddaughter is being raised but my wife is correct about saying it's none of my business. I do not believe in hiding from my problems. If it was my decision she would go back to school and face the whole ordeal.
I also went to most of my grade school and junior high school being beaten up all the time. I even have a scar on my face where a guy cut me with a knife. My Father did get involved with this one and he should have. Being a smaller kid growing up was pretty hard
'The world is literally vomiting' ~~Carlos Santana
fretless wrote:How’d it go ? Is that other kid in juvy yet
Hell no. She got 3 days suspension but still was allowed to play a girls basketball game while suspended. Maybe it is a good idea for my Granddaughter to leave this school and go to another school. Never had a lot of faith in our school system and now our local law offices.
'The world is literally vomiting' ~~Carlos Santana
Crazy you would ask today! Our High school went on lock-down today. They say? A new kid brought a gun to school and was apprehended. School was on lock-down for over one hour. What's this fucking world turning in to
'The world is literally vomiting' ~~Carlos Santana