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She is a very shy and timid young lady. In the last few years, a girl at school has made life very rough on her. She has turned a lot of her friends against her just trying to hurt her. She will come up behind her on the way to class and try to push her down. Doing the bully stuff I'm sure you guys have experienced in your younger years. Yesterday, a picture was sent out to many kids at school. My granddaughter had the picture sent to her phone by a friend. The picture was my granddaughter and the bully pointing a gun at her head. It was an airsoft gun, BUT who gives a shit. She called my daughter and was crying and very upset. My daughter and X SIL went to the school and showed them this picture. The school call the police and now the DA is involved. Now the kids are calling my granddaughter a 'RAT' and she is very mad at her mom and dad for doing this. She won't go to school so they put her on video schooling

Just don't know how I feel about this Just letting her quit going to school is something my Dad would have not allowed. He would have told me to go and face my problems. This made me a stronger person in life. The picture is very serious IMO but the girl is kicked out of school so I feel my granddaughter should go back to school and not hide

My suggestion is definitely out by the family. I told her a while back to just run your shoe down her shins as hard as you can and when she drops down hit her in the mouth as hard as you can.

What grade is she in? How does she get to school? Can she get bussed to another school?

1) Getting the school involved was the right choice. Threats of any kind cannot be ignored. We've all seen what can happen
2) Your granddaughter may be mad. She'll get over it. It's a kid/parent relationship, not a friend relationship
3) Suggesting violence to get even is probably not the best choice and that approach can backfire and/or go horribly wrong
4) Let the school administrators and enforcement officials do their jobs
5) If any of the rest of the bullies want to make life difficult, refer them to the same school administrators and enforcement officials

It's a slippery slope and a pain in the ass. There are no great answers and it's a shame anyone has to deal with this crap. School age kids, in general, can be gigantic dicks.

Just my .02

IndyWS6 wrote:1) Getting the school involved was the right choice. Threats of any kind cannot be ignored. We've all seen what can happen
2) Your granddaughter may be mad. She'll get over it. It's a kid/parent relationship, not a friend relationship
3) Suggesting violence to get even is probably not the best choice and that approach can backfire and/or go horribly wrong
4) Let the school administrators and enforcement officials do their jobs
5) If any of the rest of the bullies want to make life difficult, refer them to the same school administrators and enforcement officials

It's a slippery slope and a pain in the ass. There are no great answers and it's a shame anyone has to deal with this crap. School age kids, in general, can be gigantic dicks.

Just my .02

Yes to all of these Pepi.

Well that sucks. Sorry to hear she’s been the target of some pretty mean bullshit.

Sucks that she’s being insulted after having been threatened like that, but also good that the shit head is being dealt with. In our county the sheriff arrests and presses charges against students for any sorts of violent threats that involve weapons of any kind. He don’t play.

I can understand how it could be extremely difficult for her, especially being a very shy person. I wouldn’t MAKE her go to school but you can always encourage her to WANT to if she misses it after having done home school for a while, but most importantly, encourage her to spend time with her friends now that she won’t have the automatic social time that comes with attending physical school. If she’s more of a loner then maybe she could get a part time job or volunteer somewhere so there’s at least some sort of social interaction and also just to get out of the house.

Idk man, just some thoughts. Hope it all works out.

Jesus your world is full of problems.

Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.

Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.

mortatone wrote:If she’s more of a loner then maybe she could get a part time job or volunteer somewhere so there’s at least some sort of social interaction and also just to get out of the house.

I would recommend a martial arts dojo of some sort for the social interaction over volunteering. I was bullied severely in 7th and 8th grade. That's when I found karate and jiu-jitsu. While, I don't recommend Tawkwondo, the rest are all pretty good. Just go observe the beginner's classes at all the dojos in a 15 mile radius of her home and pick the one that has a combination of friendly people that don't look like total pooties.

Ry Manchu wrote:

mortatone wrote:If she’s more of a loner then maybe she could get a part time job or volunteer somewhere so there’s at least some sort of social interaction and also just to get out of the house.

I would recommend a martial arts dojo of some sort for the social interaction over volunteering. I was bullied severely in 7th and 8th grade. That's when I found karate and jiu-jitsu. While, I don't recommend Tawkwondo, the rest are all pretty good. Just go observe the beginner's classes at all the dojos in a 15 mile radius of her home and pick the one that has a combination of friendly people that don't look like total pooties.

This is the way my Dad handled my problem(s). I took Judo for 3 years and learned how to fight off the bullies. I guess I'm old school and would have handed this little shit bully her ass. Guess at heart I'm a redneck I realize both of them would be expelled from school but I bet the bullying crap would have stopped.

"Suggesting violence to get even" is not what I mean. More like violence to protect yourself is more like it. I do not like violence and if nobody bothers me I definitely don't mess with anyone. I was taught this strongly in Judo classes.

My wife and I feel like we need to butt-out and let my daughter and X-Dumbass SIL handle it. Sorry for the venting but this really pissed me off

Best self defense is no be there.

Miagi-do 101

Dave wrote:Jesus your world is full of problems.

Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.

Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.

Gah, I have to sorta agree.

I feel that a lot of parents are not doing their jobs in raising stronger kids. When these parents do put forth effort, it's in beating away the adversities of reality from the kid instead of strengthening the kid to deal with these adversities on his/her own. They're raising soft kids (if at all) and then blaming the system. It's always someone else's fault. And of course when these kids turn 18 or 21, these parents get fed up with all the helicoptering they've been doing and drop them and expose them to the full brunt of the world with no skills. Some parents actually continue on and contact their kid's professor or prospective employer and complain of why their kid didn't get an A or get hired.

Karen + parents = Karents!

Sorry for the rant.

Give her a shiv and teach her how to cut a bitch.

That is a sickening story . So no adults around ? Not one single adult paying attention ? It should have never made it this far . "jo for the kid . I agree she should go back , when ready . She did nothing wrong . The school may need to do a big meeting on this one . Good luck

G-Zod wrote:Give her a shiv and teach her how to cut a bitch.

Bonano wrote:

Dave wrote:Jesus your world is full of problems.

Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.

Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.

Gah, I have to sorta agree.

I feel that a lot of parents are not doing their jobs in raising stronger kids. When these parents do put forth effort, it's in beating away the adversities of reality from the kid instead of strengthening the kid to deal with these adversities on his/her own. They're raising soft kids (if at all) and then blaming the system. It's always someone else's fault. And of course when these kids turn 18 or 21, these parents get fed up with all the helicoptering they've been doing and drop them and expose them to the full brunt of the world with no skills. Some parents actually continue on and contact their kid's professor or prospective employer and complain of why their kid didn't get an A or get hired.

Karen + parents = Karents!

Sorry for the rant.

That's a dystopian future, man It sounds like junior high or something.
But bullies are like sharks. If they smell blood, they'll come. If people don't recognise that, they're either lucky, or the bully. And the one holding the (soft)gun is always to blame.

My kids were told to walk the other way, when there was only words involved. And they were told to (and showed) defend themselves if it became physical. But in Norway, most non-ghetto schools don't have air- or soft guns showing up on a daily basis.

Her dad is a full-time narcissistic and just wants to be friends and not a dad. My daughter try’s her best to bring her up the best she can but when my granddaughter only lives with her two weeks a month…
it is NOT Working!!! I want to get involved with it but my wife would have a cow. She told me to stay out of it

Probably because your way of getting involved is incredibly dumb. You teach her to fuck up the offending kids, and then they gang up on her and really make her life difficult. You'll find her on a news story when some group of sociopath kids take her out to the woods and murders her after pretending to be her friend.

I think you missed the boat on parenting quite some time ago and you just have to watch the byproduct of your method learn her own way. Your daughter needs someone stronger to teach her to be proactive in parenting instead of trying to tread water and reacting when bad things happen.

Bonano wrote:

Dave wrote:Jesus your world is full of problems.

Is your daughter a single mom or something? This all smacks of weak parenting by someone that isn't ready to be an adult themselves.

Maybe your advice should be a backhand to your daughter and sit her down with some hard truths about life. I'd be willing to bet she didn't gain the necessary tools the first go around, and you've been in reactionary mode ever since which is why she has problem after problem.

Gah, I have to sorta agree.

I feel that a lot of parents are not doing their jobs in raising stronger kids. When these parents do put forth effort, it's in beating away the adversities of reality from the kid instead of strengthening the kid to deal with these adversities on his/her own. They're raising soft kids (if at all) and then blaming the system. It's always someone else's fault. And of course when these kids turn 18 or 21, these parents get fed up with all the helicoptering they've been doing and drop them and expose them to the full brunt of the world with no skills. Some parents actually continue on and contact their kid's professor or prospective employer and complain of why their kid didn't get an A or get hired.

Karen + parents = Karents!

Sorry for the rant.

Yup. Most of these single moms are the ones convincing themselves that their own life is hard and they need a break, which is why they slack on their parenting. Complaining about being exhausted, work, everything is hard, etc are all just sad excuses. This leads to reactionary parenting at best where the mom is behind the curve at every step. Then they try to protect the kid from the awful life they inadvertently lead them to, and it results in the situation in the OP. Moms crying to the school that their kid is a target. That's a guaranteed way to put a target on the kid's back.

What string gauge does she use?

Dave wrote:Probably because your way of getting involved is incredibly dumb. You teach her to fuck up the offending kids, and then they gang up on her and really make her life difficult. You'll find her on a news story when some group of sociopath kids take her out to the woods and murders her after pretending to be her friend.

I think you missed the boat on parenting quite some time ago and you just have to watch the byproduct of your method learn her own way. Your daughter needs someone stronger to teach her to be proactive in parenting instead of trying to tread water and reacting when bad things happen.

Shut the fuck up Dave

Typical self centered boomer response.



By all means interject more of your shitty parenting in to the situation. It worked so well the first go around.

It would help us help her if we knew her age.........

long standing member wrote:It would help us help her if we knew her age.........

27

After the last two years of damage that we dealt to this generation of children and young adults through society wide policies of placing comfort and safety at the top of the value hierarchy, the last thing this girl needs is to be coddled and shielded further by letting her do online schooling instead of facing her life challenges. Sure, she would have to face it all with a lot of support and guidance at home, because this level of bullying is a hard thing to go through, but that's literally what's in the job description of a parent. Equip your kids for reality.

This is the moment where your daughter and her ex have to decide whether or not they want to prepare their daughter for life or not. It's likely this moment that forms her paradigm around how you face really challenging and hurtful situations. As a culture we really need to start raising capable and resilient humans. My heart genuinely hurts for kids who are being raised to fail.

I'm not living your life but I'd be serving my daughter a pretty healthy dose of shame for not doing better.

fretless wrote:

That’s a great movie I own it.