Guitar Gear Forum

First off, I don't give a fuck about my lawn at all.....but it's pretty shitty right now, and as a homeowner I'm forced to give at least a little fuck about it.


Anyway, the front lawn isn't very big. Gets mostly morning sun and almost none in the afternoon/night.

It's not very level, and has bare patches.

Last year we had lots of weeds. Dandilions, but various other weeds too.
Had some big underground ant hills too. In general, we have a lot of ants in our area.....I'm assuming it's because we have a lot of trees in the back yard........

I tried last year to get grass to grow. weedNfeed, filled the low spots and seeded all bare spots.
Pretty dry last year, and I don't have the passion to water the lawn during a dry summer.


I suck at it, don't care, tried and failed.....................any help?

Lol, I've crossed that point in life, I care about my lawn.

I don't do anything to it myself, other than mow it. We installed a sprinkler system years ago, and I have the landscape company lay down treatments all year long, so, it always looks good.

I've considered that.....just so I don't have to deal with it anymore.....but I'm sorta cheap and DIY.......

I've also considered astroturf. lol

Pay someone to treat it. Tru Green or one of those places will also seed it for you. Totally worth it if you don't want to mess with it. People always comment on how nice my yard looks. I only cut it. Tru Green did everything else.

Roundup and 24d.

rear naked wrote:

That's what my wife suggested. lol.......some sort of rock/plant garden instead.

Probably a bit more detailed than that tho.

Agree with phillbis. When i moved a few years ago to my house, the yard was a dandelion spawning ground.. Like you, i didn't really care, but it did look like shit and the wifey definitely didn't dig.. Called Trugreen to have them spray out the dandelions and other weeds. And so far, its been dandelion and weed free! A few hundred bucks i would guess is all it cost.. But the sprayed I'd say a half dozen times over a period of time..

This year, i See my next door neighbors yard and the ridiculous amount of dandelions.. 1., it looks like shit, and 2 i don't want all the seeds to fly back in my yard and cause that problem again.... So yeah, fix that shit!

I hate my yard. I'm slowly turning it into a garden. Its small now, but hopefully in another year or two I can take over more and more....

I'd suggest buying a couple goats and just saying screw it. Fence the yard in, release the goats and just let what happens happen.

Outside of letting the goats starve. That wouldn't be cool.

jenny handles that, i fucking win again. she has half days on fridays and says she actually likes it. looks great right now with all the rain. cant wait to get started on the outdoor gardens.

That was my idea too......a garden is work too....probably just as much as a lawn.....but at least you get something out of all that work.

Our backyard, is small as well, but is more like a wooded park. once the leaves come in, it's almost always shaded.....so a traditional garden is out back there.

kind of a win/win if I can convince my wife. no lawn to take care of, finally have the garden we want.

My wife's only comment was "wouldn't that look like shit?"

Well, yeah, sorta....but it's not like we're moving out anytime soon!

My yard's still fucked from the flood. It's slowly coming around. Maybe this winter I can till a bunch of it up & at least get some grass seed planted.

There is a lot I would do but in your case the Scott's 5 step program is pretty good. Check to see what step you're on right now depending on where you live. You'll need a spreader. The good thing is that your lawn doesn't get a ton of sun which can be easy to keep it green in your case. The best time to water is about 4am but it would be good if you watered a few times at night. The problem with watering at night is that it makes your lawn susceptible to fungous but I don't think I'd worry too much about that. I'd just try to put down some of the Scott's program and water a little at night. It should help.

I have these patches of this weird moss all over my place. Wish I could make my whole yard like that. Green velvet yard, FTW . (wouldnt have to mow either)

Snowstorm wrote:There is a lot I would do but in your case the Scott's 5 step program is pretty good. Check to see what step you're on right now depending on where you live. You'll need a spreader. The good thing is that your lawn doesn't get a ton of sun which can be easy to keep it green in your case. The best time to water is about 4am but it would be good if you watered a few times at night. The problem with watering at night is that it makes your lawn susceptible to fungous but I don't think I'd worry too much about that. I'd just try to put down some of the Scott's program and water a little at night. It should help.

I just checked that out....

Told me to plant grass now.
rake yard to loosen, add some fresh soil, lay seed, and water until the grass is 2".

Then weedNfeed late spring.

I did the ultimate cheat...Bought the overgrown property next to my house, and let it slowly creep towards my house mowing a little less each time. To the average neighbor it looks like business as usual: My neat lawn next to the overgrown lot that has been there for decades. But if they looked at where it used to be compared to now...It has to be a good 15 feet less lawn, haha. Plus I have a semicircle that is probably another 40 square feet of native plants/buttefly garden that takes up more space.

I'm introducing more Florida natives as I want as much a natural garden as possible. So from the road it looks like grass, but about 15% of it close to the house is a creeper/weed which we planted on purpose. They have these great purple blooms too so it looks great/mellow.

The missus and I drive out of our way to get native plants and our garden is full of them (the stuff in home depot kinda takes over neighborhoods). We've planted firebush, honeysuckle and all sorts of other shite to take over. There is a small anti garden movement in Florida and a push for a more natural garden to be more accepted.

It's a bit hippy, but if I am going to have a garden, I don't want it to be fileld with walmart invasive species and the lawn to be soaked with pesticides etc.

Next month we are going to some bee keeping classes too, we plan on getting a small hive.

Save the bees! Free the firebush! haha

I have started with about 20 natives introduced, but this is my end game:



Difference being I am building a Gazebo. It's going to be a lifetime project. I'm already training vines over arches, trees, even the house and if you water that shite...It's easy to maintain.

Holy fkn wall of text...All you did was mention lawn. blah blah blah me me etc.

But seriously...If the wife nags you to get some plants, bushes, flowers etc look up native nurseries around you. It's cheaper and you will feel like a smug motherfucker.

GAS KING wrote:

Snowstorm wrote:There is a lot I would do but in your case the Scott's 5 step program is pretty good. Check to see what step you're on right now depending on where you live. You'll need a spreader. The good thing is that your lawn doesn't get a ton of sun which can be easy to keep it green in your case. The best time to water is about 4am but it would be good if you watered a few times at night. The problem with watering at night is that it makes your lawn susceptible to fungous but I don't think I'd worry too much about that. I'd just try to put down some of the Scott's program and water a little at night. It should help.

I just checked that out....

Told me to plant grass now.
rake yard to loosen, add some fresh soil, lay seed, and water until the grass is 2".

Then weedNfeed late spring.

Yeah, raking the lawn good would help a lot. You could thatch the lawn which digs up the dead loose grass and weeds but obviously you need a thatcher for that. You might be able to rent one somewhere but then again that is probably more then you want to get into. I'd just say rake some spots tough, plant some seed, lay down some Scott's stuff, water just a little bit at night and it should be pretty good. This is all without looking at your lawn but I think you'd see some good improvement with that stuff.

GAS KING wrote:

rear naked wrote:

That's what my wife suggested. lol.......some sort of rock/plant garden instead.

Probably a bit more detailed than that tho.

That looks kinda cool Could line the sides with some tall evergreen cypress for privacy...maybe get a giant boulder or two to climb...rope course...outdoor exhibition sex...plus no lawn mowing...

Snowstorm wrote:Yeah, raking the lawn good would help a lot. You could thatch the lawn which digs up the dead loose grass and weeds but obviously you need a thatcher for that. You might be able to rent one somewhere but then again that is probably more then you want to get into. I'd just say rake some spots tough, plant some seed, lay down some Scott's stuff, water just a little bit at night and it should be pretty good. This is all without looking at your lawn but I think you'd see some good improvement with that stuff.

Anything is better than it is now.

Surprisingly there's some grass growing now....spotty....but real nice grass....since we got a ton of rain recently.
too bad it doesn't try to take over like the weeds will in a few months.

Meelosh wrote:That looks kinda cool Could line the sides with some tall evergreen cypress for privacy...maybe get a giant boulder or two to climb...rope course...outdoor exhibition sex...plus no lawn mowing...

I could just build a military compound over the top of my house!

huge lawn guy here. yes, my lawn is greener than yours and weed free. i use a reel mower to cut it. having worked on a golf course for 5 years, it kind of stuck with me.

Sasquatch wrote:huge lawn guy here. yes, my lawn is greener than yours and weed free. i use a reel mower to cut it. having worked on a golf course for 5 years, it kind of stuck with me.

We have a reel mower (came with the house).

Works great on grass, but doesn't cut down the weeds very well.................yard is mostly weeds....so it's like jacking off, quitting before you finish and giving yourself blue balls. pointless.

Our back yard is so rustic and over the years gotten pretty horrible.........I'm not even sure where to start.

It was never really lawn tho, more like a park.............now it looks like a park that drug dealers and hookers frequent.

ovid9 wrote:I hate my yard. I'm slowly turning it into a garden. Its small now, but hopefully in another year or two I can take over more and more....

I'd suggest buying a couple goats and just saying screw it. Fence the yard in, release the goats and just let what happens happen.

Outside of letting the goats starve. That wouldn't be cool.

i've done this.. Goats don't get the job done..Still need to mow. Sheep (or horses) required. lol.

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Made a number of attempts to turn around my yard & there are so many hurdles its ridiculous: moss, stiltgrass (uhh), broadleafs, crab, trees, acidity, drainage, etc. A service is certainly the right move since they have the firepower to address this crap.

extollo wrote:i've done this.. Goats don't get the job done..Still need to mow. Sheep (or horses) required. lol.

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Made a number of attempts to turn around my yard & there are so many hurdles its ridiculous: moss, stiltgrass (uhh), broadleafs, crab, trees, acidity, drainage, etc. A service is certainly the right move since they have the firepower to address this crap.

Dammit. Useless goats.

I seriously have considered getting one of those portable chicken coops and a couple of chickens to move around my back yard to work on the bugs.



I don't know what my local ordinances are on them though.