You've been convicted of

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 10:26 pm

Rampage wrote:Can I vote for Smashmouth ten times?

Have I told the story here of when I "opened" for them?

Beef · Post by **Beef** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 10:59 pm

benjamin801 wrote:
Rampage wrote:Can I vote for Smashmouth ten times?

Have I told the story here of when I "opened" for them?

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 7:39 am

GRIMESPACE wrote:I find it totally awesome and hilarious that Helen Reddy is on this list. Only some other old fucker like me with parents from the folk/hippie generation could possibly even know who she is.

Although she was kinda hot in the OG Pete's Dragon.
Would. :love:

[video]http://youtu.be/OxSyi9n--xU[/video]

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 9:00 am

Rampage wrote:Can I vote for Smashmouth ten times?

benjamin801 wrote:Have I told the story here of when I "opened" for them?

Beef wrote:

Apparently I have, but here it is again. It bears repeating, I think:

My ska-punk band "opened" for Smash Mouth (i.e. played directly before them on the same stage) at the 2002 Winter Olympics in SLC. We were playing at one of the plazas where they handed out medals for events that happened far outside of town (e.g. at ski resorts 50 miles away). There wasn't a prayer in hell of getting parking downtown, since not only was it full of tourists, but most of the main streets had been closed to motor traffic. So I rode the commuter rail into town, toting my guitar in one hand and my little brother's Mesa Nomad 45 combo in the other, in a rail car jammed completely full of Japanese tourists. (Funny side note: SLC's rail system had been finished at the absolute last minute before the Olympics started, but there weren't enough rail cars to meet the anticipated attendance. The nearest city that used compatible rail cars was Chicago, so Salt Lake City borrowed/rented a bunch of Chicago's rail cars and had them trucked halfway across the country overnight. Upon arriving in SLC, the rail cars were then promptly put into service...with all the Chicago signage still in them. It was hilarious to see foreign tourists looking at the CTA route maps and being clearly confused as shit.)

Anyway, it was Utah in February; it was so fucking cold. Probably 25 degrees out. They had huge outdoor heaters blowing nice warm air at the stage, but all that meant was that your guitar went a full step flat when you turned towards one of them. We played an awful set - my tuning issues were nothing compared to what my horn players and drummer had to deal with on a 25 degree day - and cleared off. Smashmouth, it must be said, were super nice guys, which makes me feel a little bad about when I'm about to say. Greg Camp, the guitarist, actually complimented me on my playing, and he seemed sincere. Smashmouth then took the stage and, in spite of the brutal cold, played a damn tight set. Everything sounded crisp and record-perfect...

...except for the vocals. It was goddamn amazing how bad he was. It didn't even sound as if he was trying to sing the right notes. It's like the right notes had obtained a two-step restraining order against him and he was obeying it faithfully. If he was Ike and the right notes were Tina, they'd still be happily married because he never hit her once. To make matters worse, he ran out of breath halfway through the first song and never seemed to recover. It was actually a life-changing experience, seeing him up there performing, so clearly confident in his performance, yet failing so badly. He was clearly the guy from all their videos - the one with the hubris to throw punches at the camera while lip-syncing mediocre frat-boy reggae.

I wanted to blame the horrible weather, but then I saw them performing on MTV the next summer and he was almost as bad. :idk:

Beef · Post by **Beef** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 10:00 pm

Hah that's a pretty good one. I can't even imagine playing in that cold weather. Thanks for sharing that. :lol:

Rock Hardness · Post by **Rock Hardness** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:35 am

Problem is that I can't remember some of those bands. Third Eye Blind? Blink 182? WTF did they do? All those damn '90s bands with numbers in their names kinda sucked, sounded the same, and weren't memorable enough to stand out enough to hate enough to make the list. (Seven Mary Three? WTF was with all the numbers? :freak:

) Only one I really remember hating was Matchbox 20 - bland music with a vocalist that sounded like he had a case of the mumps.

For some reasonI voted for Hhoobastank because I thought they recorded Hoogie-Boogie Land. :blush:

Dishwalla? Did they have that song that kept saying "Tell me all your thoughts on God?" and ONLY that song?

Who the fuck is Tonic?

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:46 am

Rock Hardness wrote:Who the fuck is Tonic?

"If you could only seeeeee the way she loves me, maybe you would understaaaaand...
...why I feeeeeeel the blah blah blah..."

Post-grunge hit in 1996 and bane of douchey karaoke nights for two decades since. :nlisten:

BroSlinger · Post by **BroSlinger** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:51 am

Wayne wrote:Too many I don't know.

And get Paula Abdul off there. She's great.

get out of my head. You are seriously just as weird as I am.

BroSlinger · Post by **BroSlinger** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:53 am

So, the "Celine Dion Band"? Does that mean, we just have to listen to her band playing instrumental shit? Or is she still in the band?

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:10 am

BroSlinger wrote:So, the "Celine Dion Band"? Does that mean, we just have to listen to her band playing instrumental shit? Or is she still in the band?

No/yes
Her voice is the greatest instrument of all. :blush:

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:12 am

Haha Ben. Epic posts. :lol:

Rampage · Post by **Rampage** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 10:36 am

"If he was Ike and the right notes were Tina, they'd still be happily married because he never hit her once."

ROFL

I want to remember that to use someday.

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:42 pm

Rock Hardness wrote:Problem is that I can't remember some of those bands. Third Eye Blind? Blink 182? WTF did they do? All those damn '90s bands with numbers in their names kinda sucked, sounded the same, and weren't memorable enough to stand out enough to hate enough to make the list. (Seven Mary Three? WTF was with all the numbers? ) Only one I really remember hating was Matchbox 20 - bland music with a vocalist that sounded like he had a case of the mumps.

For some reasonI voted for Hhoobastank because I thought they recorded Hoogie-Boogie Land.

Dishwalla? Did they have that song that kept saying "Tell me all your thoughts on God?" and ONLY that song?

Who the fuck is Tonic?

It's ok if you don't remember a lot of those bands. I played a gig with Dishwalla, and I don't remember.

Statutory Gape · Post by **Statutory Gape** » Sat Dec 24, 2016 3:42 am

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1yuGDCh8P0[/video]

Ostinato Rubato · Post by **Ostinato Rubato** » Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:43 pm

How in the fuck are Alvin and the Chipmunks ahead of Nickleback? And why Celine?

You guys don't even know how to properly hate. :lol:

TurboPablo · Post by **TurboPablo** » Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:47 pm

Exposing a fraud.

Ostinato Rubato · Post by **Ostinato Rubato** » Sun Dec 25, 2016 12:00 am

Rock Hardness · Post by **Rock Hardness** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 7:01 am

benjamin801 wrote:
Rock Hardness wrote:Who the fuck is Tonic?

"If you could only seeeeee the way she loves me, maybe you would understaaaaand...
...why I feeeeeeel the blah blah blah..."

Post-grunge hit in 1996 and bane of douchey karaoke nights for two decades since.

My list just changed...

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:15 pm

Rock Hardness wrote:
benjamin801 wrote:
Rock Hardness wrote:Who the fuck is Tonic?

"If you could only seeeeee the way she loves me, maybe you would understaaaaand...
...why I feeeeeeel the blah blah blah..."

Post-grunge hit in 1996 and bane of douchey karaoke nights for two decades since.

My list just changed...

The Hiryuu · Post by **The Hiryuu** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:03 pm

Also, Jefferson Starship? They didn't become truly terrible until they dropped the Jefferson and became just Starship.

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:14 pm

The Hiryuu wrote:Also, Jefferson Starship? They didn't become truly terrible until they dropped the Jefferson and became just Starship.

YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK. THEY BUILT THIS CITY! :mad:

The Hiryuu · Post by **The Hiryuu** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:22 pm

benjamin801 wrote:
The Hiryuu wrote:Also, Jefferson Starship? They didn't become truly terrible until they dropped the Jefferson and became just Starship.

YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK. THEY BUILT THIS CITY!

Nothing's gonna stop us now. Not even mannequins coming to life.

Walt · Post by **Walt** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:43 pm

Jane
You're playing a game
You never can win
Like a cat and a mouse
Door to door
House to house

It's just another Sunday
On a tired old street
:wank:

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