there is no problem unless the decision is made that there is a problem.
edit: since it's clear you need a sitter anyway, there is even less of a problem. nearby family is moot. finding a sitter to cover from 1-7 isn't any harder than finding one to cover from 1-11.
So on that note, shouldn't YOU find a babysitter so you can finish all your back log?
Complication....I also work weekends. I work 9-6 on Saturday. When wife works 2-10.
Before we even talk about the band situation, there is an issue where both of you are out of the house together for 4 hours. It sounds like one of you will have to try to change your work schedule. You have to solve this first.
You have to talk to your wife first and see what can you guys do about the 4 hour gap. Can she work on Sundays instead of Saturdays? That solves both issues.
Can the band switch their gig from Saturday night to Friday night (assuming you and wife are home on Friday nights)? That would solve the gig issue, but you still have a gap on Saturday.
As for the band, it's too bad man. I am a single dad and I didn't play out because of stuff like that until my son was 7 or so and I felt he was old enough to be with a sitter. The bottom line is that it sounds to me that you are not ready to commit to a band at this time. So don't.
Take care of your family schedule first and go back to playing live when you have enough $ for sitters or your kids are old stay to stay home alone.
draelyc wrote:Oh, and there's no way in HAYULL I'd play in front of a paying audience without at least one rehearsal. Not as a member of the band. I sat in with my drummer's former band once, but A) my drummer was also sitting in with his former bandmates, so I knew him and his playing, and B) as a trio, those guys were tight, so I was only there as a guest to add a bit of color, some fills, and the occasional improv solo. Even then, I didn't really want to do it without knowing the material inside & out, but since my playing was not integral to the performances, I went with it. But as a full blown band member, expected to carry my own weight? No way. Not without at least one run-through together.
simple.
get on stage with the whole band before the departing member leaves. lay off the solos, learn the transitions, and roll with it.
if it's an issue where you just don't want to do it, say so. claiming to be a victim of circumstance when there are things you could do otherwise is unbecoming at best.
Now that, I would do ... but that's not exactly the same as having no rehearsal, imo.
ajaxlepinski wrote:Lack of personal style? Dude, you're the Sean Connery of GAB!
Dave wrote:Draelyc - can write a solid song, and play tasty leads despite his internal neurotic tendencies. Despite a million debates raging in his head over string guage, pickup height, Pete Townshend's sexual history, and pick material he makes his Shiva give up the goods. Plus his unplugged electric tone... well... it exists.
NOW, this place is really starting to feel like the old classic HCAF.
ajaxlepinski wrote:Lack of personal style? Dude, you're the Sean Connery of GAB!
Dave wrote:Draelyc - can write a solid song, and play tasty leads despite his internal neurotic tendencies. Despite a million debates raging in his head over string guage, pickup height, Pete Townshend's sexual history, and pick material he makes his Shiva give up the goods. Plus his unplugged electric tone... well... it exists.
stompboxfreak72 wrote:They know my situation but are not accepting it.
honestly, i probably wouldnt either. you told them you were in even if you didnt rehearse with them which i find odd as it is on both ends, and now you are leaving them hanging without giving them time to find someone when they have gigs booked and using the wife as an excuse. yah, family comes first and you gotta do what you gotta do but i wouldnt expect to be friends with any of them after that lol
stompboxfreak72 wrote:They know my situation but are not accepting it.
honestly, i probably wouldnt either. you told them you were in even if you didnt rehearse with them which i find odd as it is on both ends, and now you are leaving them hanging without giving them time to find someone when they have gigs booked and using the wife as an excuse. yah, family comes first and you gotta do what you gotta do but i wouldnt expect to be friends with any of them after that lol
If he tells them now (without using wife as an excuse) then they'll have a full month to find someone while he's still playing shows with them.
He's just gotta be clear that he isn't going forward with the band, period, after the month of March.
stompboxfreak72 wrote:They know my situation but are not accepting it.
honestly, i probably wouldnt either. you told them you were in even if you didnt rehearse with them which i find odd as it is on both ends, and now you are leaving them hanging without giving them time to find someone when they have gigs booked and using the wife as an excuse. yah, family comes first and you gotta do what you gotta do but i wouldnt expect to be friends with any of them after that lol
If he tells them now (without using wife as an excuse) then they'll have a full month to find someone while he's still playing shows with them.
He's just gotta be clear that he isn't going forward with the band, period, after the month of March.
ah ok, i missed that part. still not a great situation though. its honestly stuff like this that makes me wearing of being in a band again, my bands all went through stuff like this constantly and it its just not fun for anyone involved. i had one guy tell me a day before a gig he couldnt play because he had to go to his wifes cousins kids second birthday party or some shit. he couldnt understand why i wanted to fight him
Thanks for all the replies and posts (except for Zach....you have issues) and I spoke at length with the band leader tonight and he could not have been more accomodating to the mess I am in. He does not want me to throw in the towel due to my scheduling issue and agreed that I cannot play out with no rehearsals. We are going to get together Saturday and see where things are. He has March covered with another player ( their original guitarist who I did not know existed) but he wants me to play the gigs if I feel comfortable. If not then the band is still covered and we will continue to rehearse through March. They can rehearse Mondays even when the band plays the weekend.
My wife and I work for the same company. I know my boss well and he often comes to see bands that I am in. I got bold ( I have worked at this job for 16 years) and decided to try my luck with explaining my predicament to our supervisor. He is going to make sure we never get stuck on the same weekend and if my wife works only one weekend day a month that should meet our fair scheduling requirement. I still dont know how this will work out for us but it is a huge relief in more ways than one.
Again thanks for the responses. I am certainly in much better shape now than I was 24 hours ago.
