Epic pet peeve rant!

[madryan]

So I'm belting little-man in his seat to go to preschool this morning and as I run back up my walk to lock the door I notice I've tracked dogshit from the parking strip all over.

For fucks sake! If you live in an urban area without big back yards pick your dogs shit up when it shits in front of someone's house!

There's a Baggie station on the corner literally 25ft away so it's not like a lack of a sanitary receptacle is an excuse.

Luckily I had spare shoes in the car.

On a separate note I was nearly killed by a caravan of fuckwits from Wyoming an hour later because apparently freeway on ramps don't exist there and these people didn't know what to do when they discovered themselves on one.

Not sure it's safe to leave the house at this point lol.

[nightflameauto]

freeway onramp rant:
Hey, dumbass motherfuckers! The onramp is used to speed up to highway speed so that when you enter the freeway you don't have block traffic and can instead merge into existing traffic without slowing down those already en-route. It is NOT a convenient place to stop, look around like you're preparing to enter a neighborhood full children playing street-hockey, honk when people already on the freeway don't stop to allow you in at less than ten miles an hour and then look perplexed when you get flipped off for it.

I swear it's become common practice around here to buzz up the onramp at speed, slam on the brakes as people near the merge point, then look around as if they are utterly fucking DUMBFOUNDED by the prospect of merging into speeding traffic.

And the pet thing? We always, always, ALWAYS pick up our dogs crap when it isn't on our yard. We have one neighbor that will literally scream at us every time we walk past his house because he's convinced we leave shit all over his yard, despite the fact it's rare for the pups to even stop on our neighborhood walks. And our neighbor next door lets his giant american bulldog shit all over our yard as standard practice. It's a sweet, well behaved dog, but gawd dammit the front yard is the one place we used to be able to wander around safely and now it's filled with shitbombs from a dog that, despite how skinny he appears, seems to have a diet consisting of twelve pounds of raw meat and six cans of baked beans a day.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK people.

[madryan]

I'll add to that...

When your business name and phone number are plastered on the side of your van...

Don't drive like a complete tool...

[Yarbicus]

I'll add to that...

When your business name and phone number are plastered on the side of your van...

Don't drive like a complete tool...

And definitely don't flip me off or your boss WILL be getting a phone call.

[fretless]

people who walk / run in the road
dipshits on bikes on the sidewalk

[DNW]

So I'm belting little-man

First attempt at reading stopped there with a:

[racerevlon]

I ride motorcycles in LA. Some of the worst drivers in the world. 85% swerve to the right while braking, usually almost killing me. Anyway, here's my rant:

In California, a passing score on the actual, "Get behind the wheel and drive" test is a 70. 70!?!?! That means you can be out there fucking up and endangering others dammed near 1/3rd of the time and still have a license. I'd advocate raising the passing score, but that would just perpetuate more unlicensed, uninsured drivers.

In my younger days, the price for nearly killing me on my bike was a door panel, a side mirror, a D-Cell battery tossed your way on the freeway, etc. But I've mellowed now and just focus on keeping myself alive.

I don't know what the solution to this problem is...

[madryan]

I ride motorcycles in LA. Some of the worst drivers in the world. 85% swerve to the right while braking, usually almost killing me. Anyway, here's my rant:

In California, a passing score on the actual, "Get behind the wheel and drive" test is a 70. 70!?!?! That means you can be out there fucking up and endangering others dammed near 1/3rd of the time and still have a license. I'd advocate raising the passing score, but that would just perpetuate more unlicensed, uninsured drivers.

In my younger days, the price for nearly killing me on my bike was a door panel, a side mirror, a D-Cell battery tossed your way on the freeway, etc. But I've mellowed now and just focus on keeping myself alive.

I don't know what the solution to this problem is...

I've been riding my whole adult life. I hear ya man.

[Elessar [Sly]]

Yeah that is really annoying. You have it in subway underpasses here.... so annoying.

[nightflameauto]

people who walk / run in the road
dipshits on bikes on the sidewalk

Bicyclists that don't stop at lights or signs. Motherfucker, don't talk to me about momentum. I've ridden a road bike at over three hundred pounds and stopped every single fucking time. I *KNOW* about momentum. I also know that metal monstrocity coming the other direction has a FUCK TON of a lot more momentum than my sorry carcass on a road bike.

[Marc G]

I hate seeing dirty plates etc in a sink... things need to be washed as you're done using them god damn it!! oddly enough I'm not a neat freak at all, but that is ONE thing that MUST be clean at all times... go figure...

[100 watt]

Adults wearing pajamas in public. (and usually paying for their groceries with a S.N.A.P. card while playing with their smart phones)

[madryan]

people who walk / run in the road
dipshits on bikes on the sidewalk

Bicyclists that don't stop at lights or signs. Motherfucker, don't talk to me about momentum. I've ridden a road bike at over three hundred pounds and stopped every single fucking time. I *KNOW* about momentum. I also know that metal monstrocity coming the other direction has a FUCK TON of a lot more momentum than my sorry carcass on a road bike.

The local road bike club has been working with the local cops to educate them (believe it or not) and the police are writing lots more tickets to bikes. The bike riders have the option to get the ticket dismissed if they attend a free safety class the road bike club puts on several times a month that lasts a few days and is modeled after the MSF courses for motorcycling.

It's actually helping in some parts of the valley where it's been implemented.

The idea is that idiot cyclists make it much more dangerous for the rest of us because the guy who watches "Joe DUI" blow stop signs and red lights on his way to the mill gets pissed and then nudges a road biker off the road next time he sees one.

Most of our hardcore cyclists are really safe here. They're members of the club and are ostracized for riding in an unsafe manner. The problem riders we have are

1) kids/20-something man-boys on BMX bikes who ride on sidewalks or wherever and just fuck up traffic.

2) the DUI crowd who can't manage to keep a drivers license while driving a car, let alone a bicycle.

3) College students on their hip cruiser or fixie who are ignorant because they haven't ridden since they were a kid and don't understand that they're the same as a car.

4) folks of all stripes that just don't give a fuck.

[ajaxlepinski]

I got my driver's license back in 1977 when you could still drink and drive.
If you got pulled over, the cop would say "All right buddy, you're hammered! Where you headed?"
I'd reply, "I'm going home."
The cop would say, "Well, make sure you get there!"... and I'd be on my way!
All of a sudden, people started getting killed and maimed by amataur drunks who couldn't handle their sauce! The bastards!
Then, MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) started complaining and no one is allowed to have fun anymore!!!
A friend of mine wanted to start DAMM... (Drunks Against Mad Mothers).
Why don't they just lower the drinking age to say, 15 and raise the driving age to 21 - that way, by the time you get your driver's license, you're already a competent drunk!

[Lloyd Blankfein]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

[nightflameauto]

madryan, your post brings up another point: salmon. When I'm riding correctly, on the right side of the road, going with traffic, and there is traffic to the left of me, what am I supposed to do when your upstream ass panics and you start looking like you're gonna dodge straight into the auto traffic to get out of my way? I've taken to just jumping off and pulling my bike up onto the grass and waiting for them to pass if there's any traffic at all. Any other resolution seems to result in stupidity or injury.

They just don't seem to realize that going against traffic prevents people from being able to tail you safely in narrow blind stretches before passing, and leaves no option but road narrowing or wiping you out no matter what the current conditions are.

so damn many people with bikes and no brains.

Speaking of which, helmet hanging on the handlebars.

[madryan]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

how dare they expect to use the very same roads their taxes paid for!

Fuckers!

[madryan]

madryan, your post brings up another point: salmon. When I'm riding correctly, on the right side of the road, going with traffic, and there is traffic to the left of me, what am I supposed to do when your upstream ass panics and you start looking like you're gonna dodge straight into the auto traffic to get out of my way? I've taken to just jumping off and pulling my bike up onto the grass and waiting for them to pass if there's any traffic at all. Any other resolution seems to result in stupidity or injury.

They just don't seem to realize that going against traffic prevents people from being able to tail you safely in narrow blind stretches before passing, and leaves no option but road narrowing or wiping you out no matter what the current conditions are.

so damn many people with bikes and no brains.

Speaking of which, helmet hanging on the handlebars.

Yeah, those fuckers going against traffic on bikes piss me off.

For a long time we only owned one truck, no other cars, so wifey would drive the truck to work and I'd commute everywhere either on my bike, if it was just bumping around town, or on my motorcycle if it was gonna be a ways or if I needed to get there fast.

I probably rode 10k miles a year and could easily match traffic speeds in town. No issues usually because it was a liberal college town and folks were cool about bikes. Then I moved down here and people are flaming retards, both the cyclists and the drivers. First week here I'm riding down the road and a billy-bob screams something at me about being a "Spandex wearing faggot" and tosses a beer bottle at me. Course, he hit a red light about 100yards ahead and it wasn't so funny when I pulled up and used my Kryptonite NY chain to break his windshield lol. I had about 20lbs on the guy and he was fat and I'm in shape lol.

I get pretty pissed when folks try and run me over or toss shit at me. Luckily if I decide to commute I can do most of it on a relatively nice bike path so traffic isn't an issue.

[mac1215]

Adults wearing pajamas in public. (and usually paying for their groceries with a S.N.A.P. card while playing with their smart phones)

then having the 'bagger' push their shopping cart out to their Escalade with gigantic bling blang rims...?

[Lloyd Blankfein]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

how dare they expect to use the very same roads their taxes paid for!

Fuckers!

They pay for fuel on those bikes? They pay to register them?


Nope, now stfu pussy boy.



Go fetch your bike and let me run you over.

[clipless bumper]

Hahaha

Madryan posts something I agree with about 1 out of 10 posts - but lloyd - you are approaching 10 out of 10!!!!!


Carry on

[madryan]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

how dare they expect to use the very same roads their taxes paid for!

Fuckers!

They pay for fuel on those bikes? They pay to register them?


Nope, now stfu pussy boy.



Go fetch your bike and let me run you over.

Do you suppose a guy riding a full Campy Record Serotta doesn't own a couple of fine automobiles? His bike cost half what your new truck costs. Lets see, guys I know who are hardcore roadies...

3 University Professors
2 Eye Doctors
1 Chiropractor
1 Newscaster
2 Heart Surgeons
1 Neurosurgeon
Several rich pampered housewives who run triathlons for fun
etc...

With the possible exception of the university professors, most of them probably have cars that cost more than you make in a year. A couple of the Professors are millionaires because they retired from the business world at a fairly young age and decided to teach Finance or Marketing.

So yeah, they pay taxes.

[nightflameauto]

They pay for fuel on those bikes? They pay to register them?


Nope, now stfu pussy boy.



Go fetch your bike and let me run you over.

Oh, hey uncle Jim! Wasn't aware you'd discovered the internet.

[Lloyd Blankfein]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

how dare they expect to use the very same roads their taxes paid for!

Fuckers!

They pay for fuel on those bikes? They pay to register them?


Nope, now stfu pussy boy.



Go fetch your bike and let me run you over.

Do you suppose a guy riding a full Campy Record Serotta doesn't own a couple of fine automobiles? His bike cost half what your new truck costs. Lets see, guys I know who are hardcore roadies...

3 University Professors
2 Eye Doctors
1 Chiropractor
1 Newscaster
2 Heart Surgeons
1 Neurosurgeon
Several rich pampered housewives who run triathlons for fun
etc...

With the possible exception of the university professors, most of them probably have cars that cost more than you make in a year. A couple of the Professors are millionaires because they retired from the business world at a fairly young age and decided to teach Finance or Marketing.

So yeah, they pay taxes.

If that were the case, why do I need to register all of my vehicles? Why do I have to pay fuel taxes for every car that gets fuel?

Do you suppose that it's due to a prorated share that particular vehicle uses of the road?


It's sad I need to break this down for a 40 year-old man.

Typical madryan- playing checkers in a chess game.

[madryan]

I hate bicyclists. I hate all of them. I do not yield to them, I do not move over for them, I treat them as if they do not exist.

If I see one about to blow a stop sign, I'll accelerate out of a stop to cut them off or 'fake' like I'm going to cut them off just to scare the shit out of them.

Their attitude is shit, they're pretentious, snobby and cumulatively represent everything wrong with the male genus.

If I see then edging the line on the road, I will haul ass by them with 1' of separation to remind them get the fuck over.

In Austin, I was flipped off weekly by wanna be lance armstrongs that should be at work instead of shaving their legs and riding their bicycles.

If they all died, I would not lose sleep.

how dare they expect to use the very same roads their taxes paid for!

Fuckers!

They pay for fuel on those bikes? They pay to register them?


Nope, now stfu pussy boy.



Go fetch your bike and let me run you over.

Do you suppose a guy riding a full Campy Record Serotta doesn't own a couple of fine automobiles? His bike cost half what your new truck costs. Lets see, guys I know who are hardcore roadies...

3 University Professors
2 Eye Doctors
1 Chiropractor
1 Newscaster
2 Heart Surgeons
1 Neurosurgeon
Several rich pampered housewives who run triathlons for fun
etc...

With the possible exception of the university professors, most of them probably have cars that cost more than you make in a year. A couple of the Professors are millionaires because they retired from the business world at a fairly young age and decided to teach Finance or Marketing.

So yeah, they pay taxes.

If that were the case, why do I need to register all of my vehicles? Why do I have to pay fuel taxes for every car that gets fuel?

Do you suppose that it's due to a prorated share that particular vehicle uses of the road?


It's sad I need to break this down for a 40 year-old man.

Typical madryan- playing checkers in a chess game.

Actually, gas tax pays for upkeep. How much wear and tear does a 16 lb bike with a 170 lb rider cause to the road smart guy?